Independence Day

 If there is a fact most of the people are a testament to around me, is that I'm not a man who regularly assumes the best of situations and scenarios around me. Nor am I someone who fetishizes the worst of experiences of as a matter of catharsis for the processing of a series of emotions which otherwise could find their way only through a rather rampant series of dominating motions. I have come to realize that unlike a lot of pop art around us, life will not offer successful climactic artistic and powerful release from the bounding chains of a current reality. Life will not find its heroes emerging from sands as tall marble Grecian structure at least as their physical presence, but they will be as timeless and as important as structures to their patrons. They believe that the world they live in isn't right and by no order of faith they are ordained to a life that should deny themselves or anyone around them of the right to live a life safe and unencumbered by the chains of the modern day polarizing political scenario that demands exclusion from the people and the institutions entrusted with carrying out the will of the populace. 

This is the India most of us dream of. This is the India that those of us who regard as an example of a post colonial country reclaiming itself from becoming the poster child of some banana republic, aspire to see. It is the country those of us who work everyday to not want but end up building. 

Our shouts for a departure towards left wing politics are not for the seizure of the means of production as much as they are for the equitable distribution of the product of creation. Of the assurance and balance of opportunity to life and safety that should just naturally extend to everyone. We run around the circles established by an entrenched structure of administrative and bureaucratic qualifications to ensure that we do our bit to maintain all the requirements and demands of the modern day workplace and the demands of a competitive scenario in a world that has its borders shrinking but at the same time we aren't living in a world that assures a protectionist economy or one that even values its talent within enough to extend the balance of compensation for the sake of preventing a neo-colonial setup. The product of the modern day India is talent, meant to exponentially drive business everywhere. And as we're "progressing" with the current government and political situation, there is a steady dismantling of the structures that set to build up domestic strength. We are victims of our own history. Simply put, our political leaders express the same weakness that we do. We want to mean more, want to do more but are happy with the little piece of earth we get. 

Our leaders are full of hot empty gestures of reclaiming our own religion and our own supposed identity regardless of the fact that we're not a flashback cohort. We aren't going to be shocked in to some ancestral memory because that is not how the past works. You build up a civilization through years of belief and construction of pipeline of talent and dominance. It involves very simply planting trees that neither you nor your children will see to enjoy. It's very simply why our focus on issues at best have ever been tactical. We are awaiting the splinter(s) to divide a union that is awaiting the healing of an identity ignored for far too long. Of a belonging that wants to be named but is constantly lost in either ignorance or in false validation of jingoism, disregarding the real meaning behind the depth of the term. Being Indian. 

But as ever. This story comes with its own heroes. Not of the chest thumping shouters, but of the reactive, active expressioned individuals acknowledging that any definition of their identity is not going to be claimed by a community. It is not going to be declared as an allegiance to a political entity that was birthed from a misinterpreted concept. It is not going to belong to those who are trying to snatch the vision of a civilization from their true owners just because they are louder or seem to be everywhere. It is not going to belong to those who are unable to build it for its future and for the brilliance it can contribute to humanity. It belongs to those who get up everyday and without a question, unerringly look up and know that everyday is a new battle for them to forward the spirit of a country accepting and constructive, favourable to the people for their existence and not for the sheer positions of the powerful and the disenfranchised for their entrenchment. And it is to them that India truly belongs. They who understand where innovation and private enterprise lies within the sphere of human existence. Of what balance means and why correcting not just their countryfolks, but the world is essential. For all of them who stand up and defend that idea of a liberal, freedom loving country not just in India, but across the world; wish you a very happy Independence Day.

Aged Like Fine Whine

This post is created in a weather of chattering keys and teeth. There is a shiver passing through fingers and the mind of every individual who happens to be alive on the fleeting rock hurtling through space as it distances itself from the warmth of random luck and veers closer to the surrounding void of ineluctable darkness.

On the other hand, Netflix is rolling out lots of great content so that is something to look forward to!

The year brought out something which I see reflecting not only around me but in the very fabric of the culture surrounding us and unsurprisingly it took the viewing of South Park to make me realize the sheer obviousness of it. This narrative isn't just limited to the kind of funk I feel at times but it happens to be the core root of most of the things going topsy-turvy nowadays.
"Nostalgia".

In a story arc lasting several episodes a character states "It may seem fun to go back and recycle the past we loved, but we end up with no sustenance". While this wasn't the end of the arc it was definitely the climax which just echoed too strongly with me.

Isn't that the entire discourse around us? The call to a better time, the invoking of cultural influences of the past in the present day. Leveraging advancements and technology to not bring out something new but to recreate what has already been made. And you can see the appeal from the creator's perspective. I mean instead of having the burden of content and delivery they are kind of free from the expectation of content. Interpretation and delivery is all that they have to focus on and the much bigger aspect of creation relies purely on the past free from the terror of new development.

But who is really guilty of this regressive behaviour? You see, I think that onus falls squarely on our shoulders. In a hyperlinked world with an exploding population and a millions of points of diversity with a marked integrated presence of our online personas with out real selves, we just feel lost. There is an increasing sense of alienation of individuals as they float away to their own systems, that any semblance of belonging seems to enticing to pass on. And consequently instead of our past uniting us, we end up uniting for our past. And some might say there isn't much of difference, but I think it is stark! Most clearly you can see it in the entire political landscape around us.

People are not uniting because they all belong to a country but they want to recreate some fictitious past or are so engrossed by this past that they are completely oblivious of the present they are a part of the future that they are creating .

We are so wholly consumed by our own species' records that attempts to do anything new are not what gain real traction. Our media outlets are so busy reporting rehashed happenings and trying to make patterns that they sometimes try to forcefit the present into their own moulds of the past and that would've been okay for a person but when you give that power to organizations capable of reaching billions, you have a very wrong influence capable of poisoning an entire generation's psyche.

It is almost like this mass illusion which people are trying to create where everyone will have their promised past and more importantly the feeling of security and emotions of their past to create some magically insured future insulated from changes. Which isn't just juvenile to hope for but just plain deranged.

I think it is essential we learn to appreciate the reality of today's day and time. Things are certainly better than they were 30 years ago. We are eradicating more diseases, we are able to help out more sections of society and are really progressing, trying to reach the further corners of the cosmos. And our apprehensions might be just because things are changing too fast, but the solution to that does not lie in running back to what felt safe and secure, because that was a very different time! We have to find our safety and security with the new present and reality. And the answer to that cannot lie by any stretch in the past, simply because it has never happened before.

We really need to reach out and include the march of progress in our own culture. We need to capture development and changes and better record them and encourage them. We can't remain stuck to our past because that's the difference between leading our journey into the future and being dragged into it crying and screaming.

I think that is one thing I want to be a part of in 2020. Bringing out some change to people who want to remain stuck to a dogma of their past. That they find the merit in moving above and beyond and carrying their world with them. Not just a rehashed imitation of what used to be.

Happy 2020!

I Started A Joke

"I started a joke, which started the whole world crying
But I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no."

Well. Here. We. Are.
364 Days. Again. Just. Wow.

My last post was a celebration of the fact that I wrote on my blog at least twice within a year. One would've thought it implied that I'd look to write more this year, but my adoring public(singular) (Thanks, Ma) would have to be disappointed. This year was definitely a Tex-Mex of more ingredients than I could count, thankfully the aftertaste is as palatable as I would want.

This post also derives inspiration from BeeGees' "I Started a Joke". It has a beautiful melody and the lyrics are crystal clear, which is appropriate for the kind of the discourse the song has. The actions, and the opposite effect they trigger. This last year has seen that happen more than its fair share.
Even memes, of this year show, (especially the surprised Pikachu meme) the obvious expectation the speaker should've had of their actions, but missed it.

Pika.....Pi?

Somehow, I cannot help but feel this song isn't as much about the failure but of continuity after the failure. Which is a different kind of peace to have.

If 2017 was about finding your voice, 2018 has definitely been about making it heard, and living past it. Be it any aspect of life, this year has been one of ample opportunities and I could imagine nothing better. There have been euphoric highs and charged lows, but the beauty of it would have to be the transient nature of both and the tranquillity that settles when you realize life's progression is slow enough for you to cause ripples, but too strong to be altered. The fact that you matter, but not enough to take yourself too seriously. Vague? Yes. Do you need to be in a constant state of indecisiveness and crisis because of it? No.

This year has been the existential version of the exercise of invention and it has had its share of hits and misses and for once the most invigorating feeling has been not just the possible exhilaration of success but the sheer power of acceptance and joie de vivre. While anticipation and expectations still are overwhelming entities circling around, for once they seem not all so omnipotent.

A lot went to into making this happen. This was by no stretch accomplished over a day but by constantly moving ahead. It is far too easy for us to abandon ourselves when we need our own help the most and there is no amount of text available anywhere in the world which can make you empathise with yourself. Which is tough to make happen until you understand why you deserve all the credit, and leniency you're willing to extend to others. You haven't done anything to alienate yourself and your misery isn't a consequence or a punishment. It's a side-effect of ignoring the voice that seeks your help to heal itself and so needs to be addressed first by you and then by the help that you need. Acknowledging your reality is the first step that will set you free from yourself.

If you think about it, it isn't even just about us as individual people anymore. World over, people are beginning to pick themselves up from grim realities of the situations they are in and are putting in their backs and breaking them for the good fight. People who are pushing relentlessly for reforms for environment, for civil liberties and rights are mobilizing resources and people for the benefit of society and despite overwhelming odds they are fuelled by the strength of their vision and the belief in the power of change. We aren't alone when we succeed or fail. We haven't ever been. We are just one of the many who are marching ahead with the tide of time and as long as we are doing what we can to  make this place better we are ticking all the boxes we ever were meant to. What's better is that it doesn't seem to be in isolated pockets. It is a constant shower of sparks all around us.

In close, 2018 was a mixed bag. A lot was happening and maybe a lot more I missed out on but, if anything it seems like the right note to start of 2019. Just the right amount of peace, anticipation, serenity and sprinkling of still forming wisdom. I think we're laying a good foundation for us to iterate and change, and if it doesn't work, we're surely ready to roll up our sleeves and work on it again.

Happy 2019!

Looks Like Morning In Your Eyes

My last post was on 29th December. Funny, how exactly 364 days later I write this one. I think this is the ultimate deadline procrastination. Because all said and done, I can get away with avoiding the burdening weight of knowing "It's been a year since I last posted anything on this blog I'd promised myself to really maintain this year.....ooh, salty snacks." To be fair that is how a lot of my conversations have ended in the past one year.

Anyway, while I thought of making this a reminiscent post, I'll do something for a change. I will try to make it one full of hope and try to make a prediction for how great this next year is going to be. Honestly if half the media outlets can still banter on about how this is the year of the apocalypse, It's pretty okay for me to be optimistic and hopeful. The only negative possibilities, if we're both wrong (meh, nothing worse) ; if they're right and I'm wrong (jeez, how does it even matter? We'll all probably be looking to go to the ships in China).

I think the next year is going to be a lot about awakening. Personally, the last couple of years have seen me grow a little more cynical day by day and not willing to believe that the world has infinite possibilities. But, as it turns out, it is one of these infinite possibilities that sees me combining the two most critical human qualities for moving ahead, curiosity and hope.

As a world, we've been stuck in lots of crap. Isolationism is on the rise, intolerance is getting more rampant, we're getting bogged down by some insane distractions that are taking away the focus from facts and issues that should matter to us all, but somehow despite all the murky waters we seem to be wading into, there is this strong Force if you will, that seems to be shining even if as the smallest beam from the small nook that seems like it can't be missed. Also, how poetically appropriate is that, it is only in the darkest situations that you can appreciate even the smallest flash and ray of light.

I think that is something we need to take forward in the coming year. For all the factions, there are insane way and causes that are uniting us. For all the new problems that are developing, generations, of people are cutting across boundaries to find a solution. There is some accountability in some people who want to take up the problem despite knowing futility and do something about it, because of the sheer determination driving them.

People who earlier chose to stay quiet are trying to be more forthcoming, and while now they're getting lost in the stormy screams of a lot of noises, you can make them out like the faintest whispers of a hymn or a clarion call at the distance, that assures you while you might feel alone, seem alone, be alone, you're not. There is someone somewhere in a similar fight somewhere also in thinking the same thing and if not for anything else, it is for them and yourself that you can pick up this fight and take it ahead because in the words of a capitalistic tagline, "You ARE worth it".

Honestly, I think this is what the next year should be about. There is a lot we have to deal with, a lot of spill over, a lot of issues, but none of them are so big that we can't imagine a way to try fixing it. We're creatures in a cosmic wonder, on a blue marble in the edge of a star system in an ever expanding Universe where the concept of time is something which can just boggle us, and yet we seem to be able to fight Mondays every week. I think another set of 365 days or a walk around the local Solar park for our planet, is nothing but an opportunity for us to look back, both personally and in some way as some sort of collective, and remark at how we did do something we feel contributed to the world and yet be charged to only look forward and find the next challenge to meet and tree to climb.

Happy 2018!

Honest Facebook-ing.

Yes. I must not, but I know I will. What can I say? I am a creature of habit. I let the lights be off, I slowly get off my bed and move towards the laptop. The dimmed light shines on my face and shows the darkness. I logon and open the window. Then I type in the search and before you know it I am halfway down the road I took an oath to avoid. Facebook is probably the biggest blackhole out there.

But hey. It’s just for this once, it isn’t like I’m hooked to it or anything. Right? Right? Like if you agree with me. Oh no sorry.

So I click on the tab that says my name. Because at my age having an identity crisis is probably the most trustworthy thing I know of. Of course subconsciously I probably expect this to tell me everything about myself. About how I can live my life and more importantly how I should. I expect it to show me all those who consider me important in an effort to highlight that my existence is validated by the approval of others. I write a clever status, poking fun at an advertisement of some political matter because this is the age where I can be brushed aside as an immature cynic by the middle aged and as a middle aged individual by the young toddler “13 year olds”. Why either figure on my friend list is probably a matter of discussion for another full moon night.

But wait, this isn’t helping. I get it I am funny and witty but that isn’t satisfying the gnawing feeling I am having inside. Like when you’re at a buffet and you don’t have sweet for dessert. This doesn’t feel right. Oh thank the lord and saviour MZ for giving me the option to explore my home screen. Probably seeing others lives will help me feel better about my own insecurities. Because obviously everyone portrays their lives as they actually are. Not like from one high to another. Right? Right? Share if you ag….oh shoot I did it again.

Oh look, my college friend is doing a cross country road trip across another continent. Ha. This is the same guy who failed to get the seat in the metro which anyone playing varsity (in the metro Olympics) should have won. Ha. Yeah, I bet he really regrets that now. Moving on. 

Oh hey cool, a school friend got a new job. No kidding, I thought this guy was hibernating. Haven’t heard from him for ages. Wait, why has my other school friend got married? Wait, has she got married to my other school friend? Are you serious?

I'll just leave this here, shall I?

                                              

Oh okay, here’s my first favourite hipster page. Hahahaha, would you look at that. They captured my pain of existence and nicely coated it with pseudo humour to make it look like existentialism isn’t a crippling condition and in the words of some coach somewhere can be just laughed off. I wonder if that’s just a polite way to accept that trying to solve your problems means an entirely different verb followed by off from the Universe.

 Oh hey, this friend is finally writing. I am so glad. In fact I remember this one moment when we both had discussed about pursuing writing and had similar reservations about it. I guess if she has picked it up now, I might soon too right? Right? Tag a friend who….oh for crying out loud.

Hey is that my arthritic relative? Wow it really shows in this dance that they are doing. I mean arthritis is probably the kindest explanation I can give for whatever they are doing in that baraat.

Oh hey, my colleague from my previous firm is going on assignment to some Scandinavian country. Yeah I am pretty sure I did not want that. He did. I guess that insulates me from feeling a twinge of regret for not having followed the generic path of success. Thankfully I trust my decisions and rarely question myself. Can you imagine anything to the contrary?

I bet I've probably seen the worst of things now. I mean what could actually  be left?..............
The Overdosing Punctuators. NO!!!!!!!!!!! (SWEET IRONY!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!.....yeah this can go on for a while)

*scrolling on*

Wait, Trump said what? He can’t say that. I mean he can but he really shouldn’t. I mean he has political ambitions right? Doesn’t that mean you have to be careful about what you say? Oh hey, what is this “Go to Pakis..” okay my bad.

Oh hey, its already 2. I should probably head to bed. Oh hey is that the sound of a devil spawn behind me that if I turn around will take away my soul? I mean I don’t really need sleep right?  Let’s explore the depths of my harddrive. Ooh, generic series I have seen probably a hundred times. I bet I can watch a season before I regret my decisions right? Oh well, won’t know for sure till I try.

Image credits: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

The Art of Performing Art

I happened to go to a show yesterday.  Not like a televised drama, or a movie but specifically a musical show by, if I am to believe it VH 1, India's "Next Biggest thing (2014)". Seeing the fact that it is  2016 I did have my doubts about their rankings. I mean by now he should be a big thing right?

Anyway, pedantic humour aside (yeah, like that's happening) what I took away from the show was a lesson on what differentiates the world into two broad categories, 

a)Performers.

b)Yeah, no just give me a minute.

These shouldn't be considered as categories of people, more like categories of reactions that people give. The kind of attitude people generally keep. The difference between the two? The 2 percent. 

I believe both these attitudes are like competing political parties, or pizza toppings. They have covered about 98% of your pizza.So, what is going to decide whether you can call this a pepperoni pizza with pineapple or a pineapple pizza with pepperoni? (I mean you know other than basic sense of gastronomy)

You. You and your confidence (or lack of thereof) and will to act are the three instincts that are going to push you into one of those groups. It should not be considered that one is worse than the other, but what should be a matter of consideration is what do you stand to gain from both. I have happened to realize that there is always more knowledge to be gained from doing something rather than postponing it (unless it is something like being Wiley Coyote's stunt double) . As I saw yesterday, a fine young man picked up the mic and might have lacked a certain elan, to break it down, or say request Mr Shady to stand up, but he did do a really good job of going out there and performing. He might have just started or might have been a hundred shows down, but more importantly, he picked up the mic and really put his heart and soul into it. He might've not known the words of the song, but he sure knew the song of his spirit and he sang it to his heart's content. 

That is what we all stand to gain if we try to tackle our opportunities and issues as "Performers". If we try to " keep the faith" . We stand to learn, and experience the thrill of performing, the thrill of using our skill, dexterity, and showing what you're made of to your greatest critic. Yourself.  

The 2% that I have mentioned is governed by your confidence and your will. Unless both of them are inline and aiming to really make it you will not be happy with whatever outcome you end up with. Confidence without will is arrogance and will without confidence is acting on fear. You need to control those two stallions. As long as they act opposing to each other you will always be where you are. Instead if you were to harness them and use them to complement each other and drive yourself ahead you have before yourself a chariot for your success.  In probably the wisest and simplest words on this matter, 

"If you say you can, or if you say you can't, you're right either way".

That is the crux of this argument. It is about how determined you are to just put yourself out there and give it a shot. In the long run of space and time, we're barely here for the time span of an Alien commercial advertisement. Why waste that little time and not do what we actually like and want to do?

CAT:Your Life Depends On It

The Common Admission Test. For those unfamiliar with this fascinating invention, this test is a three hour duration paper testing candidates across three sections, namely, their Verbal Ability, Data Interpretation/Logical Reasoning, and Quantitative Aptitude. For those familiar with it, yes it might have changed since you gave it or read of it last.

Changes in CAT:http://www.mbauniverse.com/article/id/9554/CAT-2016

This post however is not a review of it nor is it a commentary on it. This article is inspired by it. The CAT has always been, not about scoring aces but just trying to find a balance between accuracy and the numbers and pardon the generic response that will follow, but it seems so much like life. (Yeah big surprise that right?)

Lesson 1: 

You Know it all. (Pun intended)

Well, almost everyone.

This examination asks you to utilise skills you learnt far back in school. Till 10th. The lessons that you learnt as a kid. It asks you to use those basic principles to solve problems of a not so  basic nature. For example as you go out in the world, you realise not all people think the same and what you heard in stories like,  "everyone is special" and "everyone deserves to be heard", might actually be a little poisonous but is a absolutely essential because our entire is society is based on mutual principles and the act of simply denying them to others can have repercussions for the entire species.

So what this paper asks you is to use that knowledge but not in a manner as black and white as one would want because honestly nothing in the world can be seen through that lens. Our actions are black and white, however our motives are extremely variations of grey and it is impossible to separate the two. Hence you need to employ your maturity and what you've learnt in the years since your lesson forming years to actually take decisions about things that matter now.

Lesson 2:

The Divides of Life.

Your life is made up of a lot of things. Work, play, school, college, family, friends, hobbies etc. Over dependence on one is an exceedingly short term view of things and honestly will never be enough to bring you overall satisfaction. Excelling in one section but ignoring a lot in the others or even in one is enough to throw a monkey wrench in your entire plan for a smooth running machinery. Nothing in your life can be entirely compartmentalized away from the other. There is just a certain level of balance you need to maintain. If you ever want to receive a higher call (I am not referring to IIM A. They might need you to also be an ET Neurosurgeon).

Lesson 3:

Time.

 It is all about time. Every question in the CAT can be done by anyone if you give them all the time in the world, but that s one thing we do not have, Since the day we are born our clocks are set and boy are they running. Before you know it your years of philosophical clarity are replaced with protests over vegetables and in the twisted ways of the world a few years down the line you are the one buying those green leafy ironic plot twists. 

Personal Experience Talk: Don't giving soliloquies in the vegetables section 

As is what goes down here. you need to time yourself and play against the clock. You have an hour for each of the parts and you need to make the best of it in that regard. With the latest change you have to spend an equal time on all, but previously it was up to you to decide how much time to spend on each. It might also be interesting to note that while at the first go that might seem to be slightly different from the reality but if you think about it, it does happen right? You're at work and suddenly everything for the day is done and you are left with this excess which you could spend, say with family, or friends or collecting stamps or making the Death Star, but as reality bites you think that the traffic might probably reduce that advantage. Or that maybe your family/friends might still be out and busy or that Harrison Ford is in town so probably not the best day for intergalactic imperialism. (Note:Not a good day for Nazi Treasure collectors or Russian Separatist leaders looking to infiltrate Air Force One either) 

Of course it goes without saying the crunch you feel when there is a paucity of time. Which is always. Be it the five more minutes to defeat the final boss, or the five more minutes you want before you present to your first boss. There isn't nearly enough of it for all the things you want to do, so it becomes essential for you to pick up what matters to you and show that in your actions. The wayside is filled with incomplete manuscripts, Tyre swings, skills, books, even people. It is absolutely essential for  you to be able to identify what has to be with you in this entire journey because things in life are just always a few steps from just fading away. 

Lesson 4:

You Win Some, You Lose Some. 

This paper is known for lulling you in with a false sense of security till you actually see how many questions you got right or wrong, and you can bet on it you will get things wrong.  Mistakes my friend are such an integral part of life that if you think you can move on without them, you have probably made one with that assumption. However unlike your usual exams in formal education you won't be told what is a mistake at that point of time. Similarly, a mistake you make here won't actually register to you as a mistake because you wouldn't have made it in the first place and there is no retake unless you wait a year. By which time you probably have a whole different load to work with. In life you will do somethings right, you will do somethings wrong. But it is important to realise that the mistakes you make will have a negative impact and they will reduce your metaphorical score, but that doesn't mean it has to affect everything you do after that. Every different issue you tackle has boundaries beyond which the only thing connecting them is you. So there is no point saying that the reason you missed your aim in Sniper school and duck hunt was because of wind. Probably you just aren't a great shot. (On the bright side you'd probably never shoot yourself in the foot intentionally. Pun and paradox intended)

There is going to be a lot to make you happy in it and plenty to make you tired of it. The thing to remember is to bash on regardless.

Lesson 5:

Happy Birthday!

It is an annual affair. It makes you think what you've actually done in the past year. Most prefer to go at it alone and yes your extended clan and brethren will be aching to know what and how you did it. Ugh. Is nihilism not mainstream yet?

Lesson 6:

There is a start, there is an end. It has all the twists and turns in between my friend.

The three hours will probably not be like an hour of video games or an hour at a buffet or an hour at work (in case your work is in the overlying area between video games and buffet). But it will still be something that gives you a challenge in a make you feel alive way. You will like it. More importantly you will make it through it. Of course what happens after is kind of better left to a matter of faith.

So there you have it. A learning lesson from an exam. Funny how these things usually happen when you're actually supposed to be doing something absolutely else.