Exhaustion- The Flavour of Fear

I never was a fan of Duck, Duck, Goose. The game always raised so many questions. Mainly over my athletic state of being but even conceptually, I never found a more zero-sum transaction. Firstly by not allowing participants to move around it fences them and then randomly with no notice assigns them as this new authority doomed to curse someone else. I really was not good at the game. But this game itself seems like the perfect metaphor for resigned fatigue. 

The "Chakravyuh" from the Mahabharat was regarded as the best strategic maneuver which could not be countered by the supremely skilled warriors of their time. Its true strength lay in how the intensity and skill of the warriors increased as one further dove into the formation. It was meant to be unyielding, unending and unbeatable. While the tactical benefits can be detailed by many skilled researchers, what I think is the sharpest weapon in this is probably the psychology of it. The past few years have been a dive into an "Unbalanced Story". Institutions are failing (always were failing?), people are being manipulated (always were manipulated?) and there is just a general sense of chaos that demands submission. 

The pandemic probably best reflects the reality of these times which otherwise might be lost in the motions of daily life. The beginning of it that supposedly could be thought isolated and remote yet it affected the globe. In the same way we permit circumstances that enable our daily struggles. We allow our attention to be diverted from necessities as means to deal with our own supposed insignificance. War, consumerist pursuits, misinformation laden politics. Nothing but short-term noise that is inherently meant as a speed breaker to disrupt what should be assured freedom. These aren't what we are meant to live for and yet, here we are. 

The nature of the virus to affect some people worse than others and make you fear in your daily view of the world. That's what the inequity in the world has always been about. A world that assumes opportunities are only dependent on a person's willingness and can't see the real barriers that surround and exclude people. And this system feeds on everyone's push for creating more for themselves for the fear of falling out of the larger support of comfort.

The transforming variants, that make vaccinations irrelevant and keep you afflicted with a strange sense of déjà vu. The multiplying problems which our participation creates are uncannily alike to the future of Covid. It is a reality that will always be around and the expectation is not around resolving the problem but a strange sense of acceptance that asks you to just accept it and move on. Something about it feels so strangely surrendering that it makes you think whether there really is any participation at all? Or is it more of just a series of things that are happening to you. In which case how different are you from rocks or trees.

But the result. The result is just a perpetual cycle that completely drains you. It is a staple of listlessness that brings out an unwillingness to participate in your life itself. It feels like an inner revolt where your refusal to fully immerse yourself in your surroundings is the only thing keeping you safe. Forgetting even for a second all the terrible things around seems like a slip into a false sense of security and the fear of that is debilitating. And so there you are in the end. Staring everywhere for a meaning you are not ready to accept and hence, exhausted. 

More Reality for our Morality

I feel I might’ve bitten off more than I can chew here. 

The two aspects that this year have been pushed to the breaking point. It’s been a trying year for the depths of human compassion, empathy, survivalist drive & a sheer fight for will wherever it may hide. The world we left one night comforted by walls of privilege seemed to unravel overnight in front of our eyes. But did it? Was it really ever about one night? One person? One victim? One patient? I think the biggest testament to this year are the two words of absolute terror “Community Transmission”.

The world has been far from perfect, burdened by visions, fears, greed & faith of billions, and ideas of billions before. But through it all this hurtling rock has hummed along. Indifferent & passive to screaming echoes in the void. And yet, this same strange rock contains within it a flavourful melody of anxiety riddled beings. Everyone living within their own confines & a shared reality differentiated by perspectives. Our shout of individuality has been our identity. Somewhere though this singular claim has become probably the most poisonous aspect of our society. We’re living in a world today where our identities are diminished on the verge of being denied. Socio-economic constructs have emerged as larger class barriers & within the confines of these intervals, humanity is pigeonholed with its own sense of morality, subject to its own tense of mortality.

This isn’t another review of 2020. Enough number of board meetings, news anchors, corner-stores have presented enough number of views on it, but probably the only aspect which needs to be derived from it is its unnerving almost militaristic sense of confrontation. The year has thrust into faces of everyone ready to face it, the kind of world we are living in. Biases, privilege have never been clearer, the demands of occupations, lack of representation of the disenfranchised, inequity of resources they are all on display through one form or another. And here we are. At a borderline of time with the option to stare dully at passing sands ready to quietly live in a world where these are blatant truths & are happening with our full knowledge and assent (by silence). This isn’t the world anymore where sinister phantoms were lurking in the shadows and we had to fear systems we couldn’t imagine. The monsters are out in the open and it is hunting season.

In an increasingly diversity gifted world, with civilization capable of showing empathy & genuine desire for brining altruistic change, our attentions are split and purposely distracted as a call to action for imaginary wars & agendas. Issues which might not exist, but are more importantly not asking the populace to contribute anything more than their silence. This silence though isn’t what they’re after. They are stealing voices. Voices which deserve to be heard and have minds behind them with ambitions, desires and fears that are being led astray into constricted buckets to engage those actually waging a war for the truth of the human spirit.

We are mortal beings faced with the daily reminder of our timed existence.

Our moral code exists to justify and canonize our usage of this life but how is this definition becoming standardized? Why is tribalism tied to this idea of self-preservation? The very nature of people is to evolve, change & grow to become better being capable of higher thought that both affirms our existence and the necessity to sustain it. Why are we using history & heritage for destroying rather than unifying?

We need to look how we got here. How our isolationism & desire for validation of our existence derailed into this new fight for decrying whatever does not fit within our definition. We cannot hope to forsake those with us because the tomorrow is “ours”. Time’s arrow moves forward & it will arrive here regardless. Unless that future tomorrow is something that is a shared vision, it will always remain incomplete & incapable of ever being anyone’s dream.

The question of any progress that is unable to be holistic is painfully ignorant. Any progress that embeds pain within it is a pointless scream into nothingness that’s begs for recognition for perceived sacrifice, only there is no recognition for any such pain. There isn’t a voice that replies & acknowledges. There is only the depth of biting silence & the pain of those who suffer silently & even worse, unwillingly to the whims of abstract power constructs. Battles of faith, as abstract textual concepts of great inspiration which demand interference of actual people & lives? Battles of economics that demand sacrifice for value. Of individuals, abilities, capabilities & the environment. Real damage that is meted out for concepts intended to be simple interpretations, to simplify & unite people are sowing the seeds of discord and disharmony.

There isn’t any big change in the offing. There isn’t a scripted response & change that’ll come unless it is built & made. Reality doesn’t bend to imagination. It can be guided by it through effort, inclusivity & determination. It’s necessary for us to relearn that & understand our change will have to be ushered in within ourselves. It will be uncomfortable because it will force us to grow, be, do & seek better.

This is our world. This is our reality and it needs to be changed. Apathy & hopelessness have to be rightfully discarded in this cluster-damn of a year which has rightfully shown the rewards for the fighters of both sides. For those who have picked up their share of efforts & driven evolution, have shown that their vision can & will inspire. They need us to join them. Our best brains need our best minds for building this future where we live up to the magic of our existence. And it starts when we do.

Independence Day

 If there is a fact most of the people are a testament to around me, is that I'm not a man who regularly assumes the best of situations and scenarios around me. Nor am I someone who fetishizes the worst of experiences of as a matter of catharsis for the processing of a series of emotions which otherwise could find their way only through a rather rampant series of dominating motions. I have come to realize that unlike a lot of pop art around us, life will not offer successful climactic artistic and powerful release from the bounding chains of a current reality. Life will not find its heroes emerging from sands as tall marble Grecian structure at least as their physical presence, but they will be as timeless and as important as structures to their patrons. They believe that the world they live in isn't right and by no order of faith they are ordained to a life that should deny themselves or anyone around them of the right to live a life safe and unencumbered by the chains of the modern day polarizing political scenario that demands exclusion from the people and the institutions entrusted with carrying out the will of the populace. 

This is the India most of us dream of. This is the India that those of us who regard as an example of a post colonial country reclaiming itself from becoming the poster child of some banana republic, aspire to see. It is the country those of us who work everyday to not want but end up building. 

Our shouts for a departure towards left wing politics are not for the seizure of the means of production as much as they are for the equitable distribution of the product of creation. Of the assurance and balance of opportunity to life and safety that should just naturally extend to everyone. We run around the circles established by an entrenched structure of administrative and bureaucratic qualifications to ensure that we do our bit to maintain all the requirements and demands of the modern day workplace and the demands of a competitive scenario in a world that has its borders shrinking but at the same time we aren't living in a world that assures a protectionist economy or one that even values its talent within enough to extend the balance of compensation for the sake of preventing a neo-colonial setup. The product of the modern day India is talent, meant to exponentially drive business everywhere. And as we're "progressing" with the current government and political situation, there is a steady dismantling of the structures that set to build up domestic strength. We are victims of our own history. Simply put, our political leaders express the same weakness that we do. We want to mean more, want to do more but are happy with the little piece of earth we get. 

Our leaders are full of hot empty gestures of reclaiming our own religion and our own supposed identity regardless of the fact that we're not a flashback cohort. We aren't going to be shocked in to some ancestral memory because that is not how the past works. You build up a civilization through years of belief and construction of pipeline of talent and dominance. It involves very simply planting trees that neither you nor your children will see to enjoy. It's very simply why our focus on issues at best have ever been tactical. We are awaiting the splinter(s) to divide a union that is awaiting the healing of an identity ignored for far too long. Of a belonging that wants to be named but is constantly lost in either ignorance or in false validation of jingoism, disregarding the real meaning behind the depth of the term. Being Indian. 

But as ever. This story comes with its own heroes. Not of the chest thumping shouters, but of the reactive, active expressioned individuals acknowledging that any definition of their identity is not going to be claimed by a community. It is not going to be declared as an allegiance to a political entity that was birthed from a misinterpreted concept. It is not going to belong to those who are trying to snatch the vision of a civilization from their true owners just because they are louder or seem to be everywhere. It is not going to belong to those who are unable to build it for its future and for the brilliance it can contribute to humanity. It belongs to those who get up everyday and without a question, unerringly look up and know that everyday is a new battle for them to forward the spirit of a country accepting and constructive, favourable to the people for their existence and not for the sheer positions of the powerful and the disenfranchised for their entrenchment. And it is to them that India truly belongs. They who understand where innovation and private enterprise lies within the sphere of human existence. Of what balance means and why correcting not just their countryfolks, but the world is essential. For all of them who stand up and defend that idea of a liberal, freedom loving country not just in India, but across the world; wish you a very happy Independence Day.

Aged Like Fine Whine

This post is created in a weather of chattering keys and teeth. There is a shiver passing through fingers and the mind of every individual who happens to be alive on the fleeting rock hurtling through space as it distances itself from the warmth of random luck and veers closer to the surrounding void of ineluctable darkness.

On the other hand, Netflix is rolling out lots of great content so that is something to look forward to!

The year brought out something which I see reflecting not only around me but in the very fabric of the culture surrounding us and unsurprisingly it took the viewing of South Park to make me realize the sheer obviousness of it. This narrative isn't just limited to the kind of funk I feel at times but it happens to be the core root of most of the things going topsy-turvy nowadays.
"Nostalgia".

In a story arc lasting several episodes a character states "It may seem fun to go back and recycle the past we loved, but we end up with no sustenance". While this wasn't the end of the arc it was definitely the climax which just echoed too strongly with me.

Isn't that the entire discourse around us? The call to a better time, the invoking of cultural influences of the past in the present day. Leveraging advancements and technology to not bring out something new but to recreate what has already been made. And you can see the appeal from the creator's perspective. I mean instead of having the burden of content and delivery they are kind of free from the expectation of content. Interpretation and delivery is all that they have to focus on and the much bigger aspect of creation relies purely on the past free from the terror of new development.

But who is really guilty of this regressive behaviour? You see, I think that onus falls squarely on our shoulders. In a hyperlinked world with an exploding population and a millions of points of diversity with a marked integrated presence of our online personas with out real selves, we just feel lost. There is an increasing sense of alienation of individuals as they float away to their own systems, that any semblance of belonging seems to enticing to pass on. And consequently instead of our past uniting us, we end up uniting for our past. And some might say there isn't much of difference, but I think it is stark! Most clearly you can see it in the entire political landscape around us.

People are not uniting because they all belong to a country but they want to recreate some fictitious past or are so engrossed by this past that they are completely oblivious of the present they are a part of the future that they are creating .

We are so wholly consumed by our own species' records that attempts to do anything new are not what gain real traction. Our media outlets are so busy reporting rehashed happenings and trying to make patterns that they sometimes try to forcefit the present into their own moulds of the past and that would've been okay for a person but when you give that power to organizations capable of reaching billions, you have a very wrong influence capable of poisoning an entire generation's psyche.

It is almost like this mass illusion which people are trying to create where everyone will have their promised past and more importantly the feeling of security and emotions of their past to create some magically insured future insulated from changes. Which isn't just juvenile to hope for but just plain deranged.

I think it is essential we learn to appreciate the reality of today's day and time. Things are certainly better than they were 30 years ago. We are eradicating more diseases, we are able to help out more sections of society and are really progressing, trying to reach the further corners of the cosmos. And our apprehensions might be just because things are changing too fast, but the solution to that does not lie in running back to what felt safe and secure, because that was a very different time! We have to find our safety and security with the new present and reality. And the answer to that cannot lie by any stretch in the past, simply because it has never happened before.

We really need to reach out and include the march of progress in our own culture. We need to capture development and changes and better record them and encourage them. We can't remain stuck to our past because that's the difference between leading our journey into the future and being dragged into it crying and screaming.

I think that is one thing I want to be a part of in 2020. Bringing out some change to people who want to remain stuck to a dogma of their past. That they find the merit in moving above and beyond and carrying their world with them. Not just a rehashed imitation of what used to be.

Happy 2020!

I Started A Joke

"I started a joke, which started the whole world crying
But I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no."

Well. Here. We. Are.
364 Days. Again. Just. Wow.

My last post was a celebration of the fact that I wrote on my blog at least twice within a year. One would've thought it implied that I'd look to write more this year, but my adoring public(singular) (Thanks, Ma) would have to be disappointed. This year was definitely a Tex-Mex of more ingredients than I could count, thankfully the aftertaste is as palatable as I would want.

This post also derives inspiration from BeeGees' "I Started a Joke". It has a beautiful melody and the lyrics are crystal clear, which is appropriate for the kind of the discourse the song has. The actions, and the opposite effect they trigger. This last year has seen that happen more than its fair share.
Even memes, of this year show, (especially the surprised Pikachu meme) the obvious expectation the speaker should've had of their actions, but missed it.

Pika.....Pi?

Somehow, I cannot help but feel this song isn't as much about the failure but of continuity after the failure. Which is a different kind of peace to have.

If 2017 was about finding your voice, 2018 has definitely been about making it heard, and living past it. Be it any aspect of life, this year has been one of ample opportunities and I could imagine nothing better. There have been euphoric highs and charged lows, but the beauty of it would have to be the transient nature of both and the tranquillity that settles when you realize life's progression is slow enough for you to cause ripples, but too strong to be altered. The fact that you matter, but not enough to take yourself too seriously. Vague? Yes. Do you need to be in a constant state of indecisiveness and crisis because of it? No.

This year has been the existential version of the exercise of invention and it has had its share of hits and misses and for once the most invigorating feeling has been not just the possible exhilaration of success but the sheer power of acceptance and joie de vivre. While anticipation and expectations still are overwhelming entities circling around, for once they seem not all so omnipotent.

A lot went to into making this happen. This was by no stretch accomplished over a day but by constantly moving ahead. It is far too easy for us to abandon ourselves when we need our own help the most and there is no amount of text available anywhere in the world which can make you empathise with yourself. Which is tough to make happen until you understand why you deserve all the credit, and leniency you're willing to extend to others. You haven't done anything to alienate yourself and your misery isn't a consequence or a punishment. It's a side-effect of ignoring the voice that seeks your help to heal itself and so needs to be addressed first by you and then by the help that you need. Acknowledging your reality is the first step that will set you free from yourself.

If you think about it, it isn't even just about us as individual people anymore. World over, people are beginning to pick themselves up from grim realities of the situations they are in and are putting in their backs and breaking them for the good fight. People who are pushing relentlessly for reforms for environment, for civil liberties and rights are mobilizing resources and people for the benefit of society and despite overwhelming odds they are fuelled by the strength of their vision and the belief in the power of change. We aren't alone when we succeed or fail. We haven't ever been. We are just one of the many who are marching ahead with the tide of time and as long as we are doing what we can to  make this place better we are ticking all the boxes we ever were meant to. What's better is that it doesn't seem to be in isolated pockets. It is a constant shower of sparks all around us.

In close, 2018 was a mixed bag. A lot was happening and maybe a lot more I missed out on but, if anything it seems like the right note to start of 2019. Just the right amount of peace, anticipation, serenity and sprinkling of still forming wisdom. I think we're laying a good foundation for us to iterate and change, and if it doesn't work, we're surely ready to roll up our sleeves and work on it again.

Happy 2019!

Looks Like Morning In Your Eyes

My last post was on 29th December. Funny, how exactly 364 days later I write this one. I think this is the ultimate deadline procrastination. Because all said and done, I can get away with avoiding the burdening weight of knowing "It's been a year since I last posted anything on this blog I'd promised myself to really maintain this year.....ooh, salty snacks." To be fair that is how a lot of my conversations have ended in the past one year.

Anyway, while I thought of making this a reminiscent post, I'll do something for a change. I will try to make it one full of hope and try to make a prediction for how great this next year is going to be. Honestly if half the media outlets can still banter on about how this is the year of the apocalypse, It's pretty okay for me to be optimistic and hopeful. The only negative possibilities, if we're both wrong (meh, nothing worse) ; if they're right and I'm wrong (jeez, how does it even matter? We'll all probably be looking to go to the ships in China).

I think the next year is going to be a lot about awakening. Personally, the last couple of years have seen me grow a little more cynical day by day and not willing to believe that the world has infinite possibilities. But, as it turns out, it is one of these infinite possibilities that sees me combining the two most critical human qualities for moving ahead, curiosity and hope.

As a world, we've been stuck in lots of crap. Isolationism is on the rise, intolerance is getting more rampant, we're getting bogged down by some insane distractions that are taking away the focus from facts and issues that should matter to us all, but somehow despite all the murky waters we seem to be wading into, there is this strong Force if you will, that seems to be shining even if as the smallest beam from the small nook that seems like it can't be missed. Also, how poetically appropriate is that, it is only in the darkest situations that you can appreciate even the smallest flash and ray of light.

I think that is something we need to take forward in the coming year. For all the factions, there are insane way and causes that are uniting us. For all the new problems that are developing, generations, of people are cutting across boundaries to find a solution. There is some accountability in some people who want to take up the problem despite knowing futility and do something about it, because of the sheer determination driving them.

People who earlier chose to stay quiet are trying to be more forthcoming, and while now they're getting lost in the stormy screams of a lot of noises, you can make them out like the faintest whispers of a hymn or a clarion call at the distance, that assures you while you might feel alone, seem alone, be alone, you're not. There is someone somewhere in a similar fight somewhere also in thinking the same thing and if not for anything else, it is for them and yourself that you can pick up this fight and take it ahead because in the words of a capitalistic tagline, "You ARE worth it".

Honestly, I think this is what the next year should be about. There is a lot we have to deal with, a lot of spill over, a lot of issues, but none of them are so big that we can't imagine a way to try fixing it. We're creatures in a cosmic wonder, on a blue marble in the edge of a star system in an ever expanding Universe where the concept of time is something which can just boggle us, and yet we seem to be able to fight Mondays every week. I think another set of 365 days or a walk around the local Solar park for our planet, is nothing but an opportunity for us to look back, both personally and in some way as some sort of collective, and remark at how we did do something we feel contributed to the world and yet be charged to only look forward and find the next challenge to meet and tree to climb.

Happy 2018!

Honest Facebook-ing.

Yes. I must not, but I know I will. What can I say? I am a creature of habit. I let the lights be off, I slowly get off my bed and move towards the laptop. The dimmed light shines on my face and shows the darkness. I logon and open the window. Then I type in the search and before you know it I am halfway down the road I took an oath to avoid. Facebook is probably the biggest blackhole out there.

But hey. It’s just for this once, it isn’t like I’m hooked to it or anything. Right? Right? Like if you agree with me. Oh no sorry.

So I click on the tab that says my name. Because at my age having an identity crisis is probably the most trustworthy thing I know of. Of course subconsciously I probably expect this to tell me everything about myself. About how I can live my life and more importantly how I should. I expect it to show me all those who consider me important in an effort to highlight that my existence is validated by the approval of others. I write a clever status, poking fun at an advertisement of some political matter because this is the age where I can be brushed aside as an immature cynic by the middle aged and as a middle aged individual by the young toddler “13 year olds”. Why either figure on my friend list is probably a matter of discussion for another full moon night.

But wait, this isn’t helping. I get it I am funny and witty but that isn’t satisfying the gnawing feeling I am having inside. Like when you’re at a buffet and you don’t have sweet for dessert. This doesn’t feel right. Oh thank the lord and saviour MZ for giving me the option to explore my home screen. Probably seeing others lives will help me feel better about my own insecurities. Because obviously everyone portrays their lives as they actually are. Not like from one high to another. Right? Right? Share if you ag….oh shoot I did it again.

Oh look, my college friend is doing a cross country road trip across another continent. Ha. This is the same guy who failed to get the seat in the metro which anyone playing varsity (in the metro Olympics) should have won. Ha. Yeah, I bet he really regrets that now. Moving on. 

Oh hey cool, a school friend got a new job. No kidding, I thought this guy was hibernating. Haven’t heard from him for ages. Wait, why has my other school friend got married? Wait, has she got married to my other school friend? Are you serious?

I'll just leave this here, shall I?

                                              

Oh okay, here’s my first favourite hipster page. Hahahaha, would you look at that. They captured my pain of existence and nicely coated it with pseudo humour to make it look like existentialism isn’t a crippling condition and in the words of some coach somewhere can be just laughed off. I wonder if that’s just a polite way to accept that trying to solve your problems means an entirely different verb followed by off from the Universe.

 Oh hey, this friend is finally writing. I am so glad. In fact I remember this one moment when we both had discussed about pursuing writing and had similar reservations about it. I guess if she has picked it up now, I might soon too right? Right? Tag a friend who….oh for crying out loud.

Hey is that my arthritic relative? Wow it really shows in this dance that they are doing. I mean arthritis is probably the kindest explanation I can give for whatever they are doing in that baraat.

Oh hey, my colleague from my previous firm is going on assignment to some Scandinavian country. Yeah I am pretty sure I did not want that. He did. I guess that insulates me from feeling a twinge of regret for not having followed the generic path of success. Thankfully I trust my decisions and rarely question myself. Can you imagine anything to the contrary?

I bet I've probably seen the worst of things now. I mean what could actually  be left?..............
The Overdosing Punctuators. NO!!!!!!!!!!! (SWEET IRONY!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!.....yeah this can go on for a while)

*scrolling on*

Wait, Trump said what? He can’t say that. I mean he can but he really shouldn’t. I mean he has political ambitions right? Doesn’t that mean you have to be careful about what you say? Oh hey, what is this “Go to Pakis..” okay my bad.

Oh hey, its already 2. I should probably head to bed. Oh hey is that the sound of a devil spawn behind me that if I turn around will take away my soul? I mean I don’t really need sleep right?  Let’s explore the depths of my harddrive. Ooh, generic series I have seen probably a hundred times. I bet I can watch a season before I regret my decisions right? Oh well, won’t know for sure till I try.

Image credits: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

The Art of Performing Art

I happened to go to a show yesterday.  Not like a televised drama, or a movie but specifically a musical show by, if I am to believe it VH 1, India's "Next Biggest thing (2014)". Seeing the fact that it is  2016 I did have my doubts about their rankings. I mean by now he should be a big thing right?

Anyway, pedantic humour aside (yeah, like that's happening) what I took away from the show was a lesson on what differentiates the world into two broad categories, 

a)Performers.

b)Yeah, no just give me a minute.

These shouldn't be considered as categories of people, more like categories of reactions that people give. The kind of attitude people generally keep. The difference between the two? The 2 percent. 

I believe both these attitudes are like competing political parties, or pizza toppings. They have covered about 98% of your pizza.So, what is going to decide whether you can call this a pepperoni pizza with pineapple or a pineapple pizza with pepperoni? (I mean you know other than basic sense of gastronomy)

You. You and your confidence (or lack of thereof) and will to act are the three instincts that are going to push you into one of those groups. It should not be considered that one is worse than the other, but what should be a matter of consideration is what do you stand to gain from both. I have happened to realize that there is always more knowledge to be gained from doing something rather than postponing it (unless it is something like being Wiley Coyote's stunt double) . As I saw yesterday, a fine young man picked up the mic and might have lacked a certain elan, to break it down, or say request Mr Shady to stand up, but he did do a really good job of going out there and performing. He might have just started or might have been a hundred shows down, but more importantly, he picked up the mic and really put his heart and soul into it. He might've not known the words of the song, but he sure knew the song of his spirit and he sang it to his heart's content. 

That is what we all stand to gain if we try to tackle our opportunities and issues as "Performers". If we try to " keep the faith" . We stand to learn, and experience the thrill of performing, the thrill of using our skill, dexterity, and showing what you're made of to your greatest critic. Yourself.  

The 2% that I have mentioned is governed by your confidence and your will. Unless both of them are inline and aiming to really make it you will not be happy with whatever outcome you end up with. Confidence without will is arrogance and will without confidence is acting on fear. You need to control those two stallions. As long as they act opposing to each other you will always be where you are. Instead if you were to harness them and use them to complement each other and drive yourself ahead you have before yourself a chariot for your success.  In probably the wisest and simplest words on this matter, 

"If you say you can, or if you say you can't, you're right either way".

That is the crux of this argument. It is about how determined you are to just put yourself out there and give it a shot. In the long run of space and time, we're barely here for the time span of an Alien commercial advertisement. Why waste that little time and not do what we actually like and want to do?

CAT:Your Life Depends On It

The Common Admission Test. For those unfamiliar with this fascinating invention, this test is a three hour duration paper testing candidates across three sections, namely, their Verbal Ability, Data Interpretation/Logical Reasoning, and Quantitative Aptitude. For those familiar with it, yes it might have changed since you gave it or read of it last.

Changes in CAT:http://www.mbauniverse.com/article/id/9554/CAT-2016

This post however is not a review of it nor is it a commentary on it. This article is inspired by it. The CAT has always been, not about scoring aces but just trying to find a balance between accuracy and the numbers and pardon the generic response that will follow, but it seems so much like life. (Yeah big surprise that right?)

Lesson 1: 

You Know it all. (Pun intended)

Well, almost everyone.

This examination asks you to utilise skills you learnt far back in school. Till 10th. The lessons that you learnt as a kid. It asks you to use those basic principles to solve problems of a not so  basic nature. For example as you go out in the world, you realise not all people think the same and what you heard in stories like,  "everyone is special" and "everyone deserves to be heard", might actually be a little poisonous but is a absolutely essential because our entire is society is based on mutual principles and the act of simply denying them to others can have repercussions for the entire species.

So what this paper asks you is to use that knowledge but not in a manner as black and white as one would want because honestly nothing in the world can be seen through that lens. Our actions are black and white, however our motives are extremely variations of grey and it is impossible to separate the two. Hence you need to employ your maturity and what you've learnt in the years since your lesson forming years to actually take decisions about things that matter now.

Lesson 2:

The Divides of Life.

Your life is made up of a lot of things. Work, play, school, college, family, friends, hobbies etc. Over dependence on one is an exceedingly short term view of things and honestly will never be enough to bring you overall satisfaction. Excelling in one section but ignoring a lot in the others or even in one is enough to throw a monkey wrench in your entire plan for a smooth running machinery. Nothing in your life can be entirely compartmentalized away from the other. There is just a certain level of balance you need to maintain. If you ever want to receive a higher call (I am not referring to IIM A. They might need you to also be an ET Neurosurgeon).

Lesson 3:

Time.

 It is all about time. Every question in the CAT can be done by anyone if you give them all the time in the world, but that s one thing we do not have, Since the day we are born our clocks are set and boy are they running. Before you know it your years of philosophical clarity are replaced with protests over vegetables and in the twisted ways of the world a few years down the line you are the one buying those green leafy ironic plot twists. 

Personal Experience Talk: Don't giving soliloquies in the vegetables section 

As is what goes down here. you need to time yourself and play against the clock. You have an hour for each of the parts and you need to make the best of it in that regard. With the latest change you have to spend an equal time on all, but previously it was up to you to decide how much time to spend on each. It might also be interesting to note that while at the first go that might seem to be slightly different from the reality but if you think about it, it does happen right? You're at work and suddenly everything for the day is done and you are left with this excess which you could spend, say with family, or friends or collecting stamps or making the Death Star, but as reality bites you think that the traffic might probably reduce that advantage. Or that maybe your family/friends might still be out and busy or that Harrison Ford is in town so probably not the best day for intergalactic imperialism. (Note:Not a good day for Nazi Treasure collectors or Russian Separatist leaders looking to infiltrate Air Force One either) 

Of course it goes without saying the crunch you feel when there is a paucity of time. Which is always. Be it the five more minutes to defeat the final boss, or the five more minutes you want before you present to your first boss. There isn't nearly enough of it for all the things you want to do, so it becomes essential for you to pick up what matters to you and show that in your actions. The wayside is filled with incomplete manuscripts, Tyre swings, skills, books, even people. It is absolutely essential for  you to be able to identify what has to be with you in this entire journey because things in life are just always a few steps from just fading away. 

Lesson 4:

You Win Some, You Lose Some. 

This paper is known for lulling you in with a false sense of security till you actually see how many questions you got right or wrong, and you can bet on it you will get things wrong.  Mistakes my friend are such an integral part of life that if you think you can move on without them, you have probably made one with that assumption. However unlike your usual exams in formal education you won't be told what is a mistake at that point of time. Similarly, a mistake you make here won't actually register to you as a mistake because you wouldn't have made it in the first place and there is no retake unless you wait a year. By which time you probably have a whole different load to work with. In life you will do somethings right, you will do somethings wrong. But it is important to realise that the mistakes you make will have a negative impact and they will reduce your metaphorical score, but that doesn't mean it has to affect everything you do after that. Every different issue you tackle has boundaries beyond which the only thing connecting them is you. So there is no point saying that the reason you missed your aim in Sniper school and duck hunt was because of wind. Probably you just aren't a great shot. (On the bright side you'd probably never shoot yourself in the foot intentionally. Pun and paradox intended)

There is going to be a lot to make you happy in it and plenty to make you tired of it. The thing to remember is to bash on regardless.

Lesson 5:

Happy Birthday!

It is an annual affair. It makes you think what you've actually done in the past year. Most prefer to go at it alone and yes your extended clan and brethren will be aching to know what and how you did it. Ugh. Is nihilism not mainstream yet?

Lesson 6:

There is a start, there is an end. It has all the twists and turns in between my friend.

The three hours will probably not be like an hour of video games or an hour at a buffet or an hour at work (in case your work is in the overlying area between video games and buffet). But it will still be something that gives you a challenge in a make you feel alive way. You will like it. More importantly you will make it through it. Of course what happens after is kind of better left to a matter of faith.

So there you have it. A learning lesson from an exam. Funny how these things usually happen when you're actually supposed to be doing something absolutely else.

Drift

Somewhere in the race around,
We jumped up high
But couldn't touch the ground.
We floated of far into space,
we floated away into this maze.

There isn't any anchor to hold us down,
we celebrated as we went away.
Joyous as we flew away.
Half past 10 as things settled in
and as there ceased to be
The effect of a routine,
we felt the change and a repeated burst,
of happiness and mirth, for we had set sail
for far away.
Joyous as we flew away.

Then as the last things to see,
ceased to be recollections,
but only remained memories,
There was a twinge and break
something snapped fast and quick.
You couldn't see what was left behind
nor where you were headed blind.
Then it struck once more as you went ahead,
you were far gone beyond your bed.
Away away you spin and swim,
one way channel, no fantasy or whim.
Away away you swam and spun,
away from kith, away from kin.

So we float on with this current,
shaped and moulded by forces far from elastic.
We spread on a thousand treads,
linked to the past with breaking threads.
We float on up and away,
we float on, to look back some other day.

One At A Time

"How do you eat an Elephant? One bite at a time"
-Quoted by some guy clearly not aware about the concept of binge eating


The above line is something I picked up while reading Mark Owen's  "No Easy Day". The story about the SEAL team that went on the mission to Abbottabad (and makes me think twice before ordering pizza at night).
The line however which the protagonist says pushed him was something that stuck with me. No not because it is an elephant. Well kinda. It is because those small words carry some big meaning. Of course those words at first go did not make much impact. Like most things we read, or hear or experience, their relevance got highlighted only when I found myself in a position to appreciate their depth. For a better part of my life, my athletic achievements have been limited to retrieving the TV remote from one room within an hour or reaching across the bed for it, and while my physical prowess is spoken with awe among sloths, among the social animals such as ourselves it is more at a value mathematicians would like to denote to be just a scrap above zero.

Will shortly be arriving.

However, in my final year there was just a push that sort of motivated me to probably cross the threshold of exertion to the limit that you can at least beat a spider trying to make a web around you. So I set out to battle my first foe, running. It has been chronicled by great many a minstrels that there was a mother who wanted her son to run, but the son preferred to watch Pokemon and that's why his tryouts for the Olympics were undone. 

Ain't no one taking me away from Kanto.

                 

Basically my years of being a politician about running around came back to bite me (yeah they ran their bit) and I finally had to push myself to at least not collapse into a human puddle. Or like collapse either. I'll spare you the details of that, but it was during one run on a particularly trying day that those words about consuming an Elephant struck me. Every step I was taking, every millimeter I moved ahead, every panting breath, gasping for oxygen (or like the light at the end of the tunnel) was one step more than what I had previously done. Every movement ahead while barely a dent was in fact a movement ahead,  and that pushed me. Every run henceforth, every length of the pool, every  skip, every extra sweet dish at Barbecue Nation, encouraged me. Just one more, just one ahead. just take the large challenge  and break it down into small pieces, till the waiters at an all you can eat buffet look at you like the physical incarnation of world hunger.         

What happened ultimately was that the run wasn't about how far I ran the race, it was about HOW I ran the race. Whether I ran it like a chore, or if I ran it as a battle. If I ran it as a compulsion or I ran it as a challenge. If I ran it, convinced that I'd have a better chance of completing the circuit if I flew or if I decided to cut the self expensed  humour and actually do something I had aimed for and that made all the difference. 

That year, those month of running imparted me the wisdom which I think actually pushed me into adulthood. Don't get me wrong, I am still in denial about maturity, but I actually feel that achieving anything isn't about conquering the thing you target. It is about conquering that part in yourself that thinks it can't. It is about shutting down your opposition. It is about taking that huge trek and breaking it down smaller and smaller till every step and breath is charging you towards your goal. 

I took that lesson with me, for this last year that I spent betwixt and between. Correction, that I continue to spend betwixt and between a lot. Aims, aspirations, cuisines etc etc. Every mammoth task that befell me at work, or every change that had to be induced was done one twirl and spin at a time.All I had to do was ensure that I did my small bit towards myself and just maintained that flow. 

While that book might've not been the pinnacle of literary achievements, or my running around been the peak of human fitness, that phase, that mindset gave me a bigger and better gift just short of the best one (life) I ever got. It taught me the best way to deal with it. To deal with life.Simply, one bite at a time. 

Parrying the Perturbing

Yes, I love alliterating. Sue me. Anyway. This post should've been in continuation of the promised trilogy, but as everyone does not crucify Marvel for muddling their trilogies, I'll hope for the same. Yes, marvel at my presumption.
To those who might benefit most from reading this, for their sake (and mine because quite frankly having small talk on paper just seems like talking to myself and I'd rather do that without written proof of it) I'll cut to the chase (this phrase always bothered me, isn't the chase but a delay to the climax?).

"Anxiety?"
"No thank you good Sir. I think I'll skip that"
"I don't think you will......*muahahahah*"
- Your brain and thought when you think about taking chances.

To describe what it feels like to me. It feels like being in a situation where I have the power to decide, but am unable to because of myself. That is how anxiety strikes me. To some it strikes like an anchor completely weighing them down. To some it hits like the strike by a debilitating weapon. To some it is merely like a pin prick. (Yeah right.)


                                          

    Perturbation Theory in Maths. That's right, no one is safe.
                                        

The thing is, anxiety completely spread over you like the way water finds it way. It just flows and knows exactly the right places to go straight through your lows and start collecting in a puddle, increasing and becoming a reservoir for spreading even more. It is all covering. It is the night. It spread so completely around and destroys all physical representations. It blocks your mind. What's worse is it separates you from your one ally to best tackle it. Reality.

I know. Those of you in the 1920's reading this because of your time travelling descendant must be saying "Oh MY! What a sensational statement this screen seems to have. My word nothing jolly good about this. No sire no."

But wait, there's more. The reason for this gasp inducing statement is that quite frankly it is the truth! Your mind is a wonderful, imaginative, magical place that can imagine castles, dragons, wizards, heroes and seas. It can also however imagine villains, storms, darkness, and monsters. That's how beautifully honest a tool it is. Somewhere down the line however it needs to be controlled. Reality, the things happening around you, daily life, it doesn't have monsters or dragons. It  isn't a fairy tale. So why use a drastic scale of imagining the worse possibilities as the only possible outcomes?Maybe you're getting it a little bit.

Step 1. If you are in a situation of utter despair. Where you feel stuck and struck dumb. When your faculties seem to be as responsive as your faculty when they try to test you. There is one foremost action you must do. Imagine anything that gives you hope. Don't just picture it, picture it in all its glory. Highlighted, in all importance, the thing that stands out and demands to be seen purely by existence. Do this, because the only opponent to an unnaturally enlarged foe, is an even stronger weapon.
This might not win the battle, but it will give you the courage to tame this beast raging around in your mind.

Step 2. The tougher one. Open your eyes. Not just physically, but use that light that your courage gives you, to pierce that mist of fear, and anxiety. Open your eyes, to see what the real picture is . What the real story is. What is actually happening in front of you. Realistically try to see whether those shackles holding you are really there, or they are really nothing but  illusory wisps.

Those daily battles, which drain you, those struggles and contests which seem to have no rules and never give you a fighting chance are not real. All those battles, are not supposed to weaken you. They are meant to test and push you. They are meant to make a better you. They aren't meant to be roadblocks. They are checkpoints, to show you that every march forward in the world will bring you a new challenge, only increasing your capacity for bearing them, beating them and bringing yourself something better ahead. That is what you need to treat anxiety as. Not as the demon to slay, but the dummy to train with. It is an artificial intelligence based creature ready to try you at every turn, but secretly, it roots for you. It wants you to grow and go ahead.

 Tackle it hence not like an over-sized boggart/shape-shifter, but see it for what it really is. A test for a newer you. A test for a further progressing you. See it as the worst of the world, to make the best of you.

Hope and Wait

"Victory comes to those who believe in it, the strongest and the longest"
-Probably someone who had his confidence on steroids
(Just kidding, I paraphrase Lt. Col Doolittle)


Of the many flaws I have being a pessimistic optimist is probably the lesser of them. However, I am pretty sure it's not just an individual streak. Quite frankly, being a pessimistic optimist, ("poptimist" if you will) is what helps you be normal as compared to a either a sugar high toddler or what you get after the toddler crashes from the sugar high. It is also something which tends to colour opinions  grey. Just one shade of it.However a person runs a risk in this kind of a situation. A risk much bigger than the captain of a bowling team deciding to give a spinner the last over to bowl. That is, they might lose the will to win.

 The fact is, in no situation can you win without first agreeing that you really want it, second believing you can get it, and third actually doing something to get it. There is attrition in almost every step which only keeps increasing as you go to every successive step. Yes, this is maths working as Hydra.  So if someone already believes that a cause is the opportunity equivalent of a mosquito (worthless), you can be pretty sure that it won't be tough to swat them out of the sky. Or off your face for that matter.  So this battle is something, which you don't even come close to winning, because instead of even preparing or trying out of the waters, you've just looked out of your window and said "The sun's too bright for surfing." or "The pizza is too cheesy for my liking". Those kind of words should not be used because whatever might be the hindrance, what it really is hiding, is a chance for you to discover a part of yourself that will face a challenge in an entirely new fashion that can surprise you!

In professions like the military, research,entrepreneurship  hitting a roadblock is almost as regular as not liking the cafeteria food, but those professionals who really believe in their calling and who really want to sustain and grow keep striving on. In the National Defence Academy in Pune, there is a line scratched into a desk (at least that's what I've heard. Quote attributed to Winston Churchill). It says: "Going through hell, keep going". Probably the best thing to refresh a person to continue on in any battle they rage is to wage it on and not take one step back (no I am not trying to go all Stalin here).


(Credits:Pintrest)

SO even if you are a "poptimist" it is not an excuse to excuse your self of aspiring to win.
Everything in life is going to put obstacles and obstructions in front to of you, no matter how  prepared, confident, etc you are. Everyone will face the same opposition that you do when doing what you are and some might have it even worse. So if you feel crippled and unable to move ahead you need to realise that the best way to get through a storm (if you must) is probably through it, for no ship that stayed in its harbour ever realised what it was meant to do.

On a trip to Manali, my father and I thought we'd try our hand at para gliding. Now this was in a very controlled environment, but it doesn't help when you're at the top a peak in a mountainous region and see that what really the activity is a slow plummet. Now I don't have a fear of heights. No one does I think. It's a fear of falling probably, but anyway, I remember standing on that patch of flat land and the instructor told me to just run straight. Now when I started running I felt a tug and thought that my guide wasn't harnessed properly so I kind of slowed down. Turns out that was the wind, but what that stop did was it changed my direction so my 5-6 meter run up now became a 3 meter run up. I remember thinking how this game of chicken could probably cost me a lot, but I jumped. The first ten seconds of that jump were magical. Not because of the plunge, or just because of the silence, but because it was that time when I felt I had run against an opposition (gravity and my fear) to do something and was actively aware of it. Agreed this was in an extremely controlled environment but what it gave me was the confidence, that no matter what maybe the force pulling you down or the thing holding you back. What you have to do is just keep running and know when to take the jump.

It is what helped me in subsequent situations like, my first diving board, my first (can't say last) 12 feet jump to 8 feet (which I missed and kind of tackled the platform) before I went to 2 feet (my own that is. It was a spectacularly unremarkable fall. Good times.), leaving home, job interviews, creative pursuits, etc.

So this is kind of like the second part to the "Win" Trilogy. I've covered the one on inspiring yourself to make the change in "http://thepisceanwindow.blogspot.in/2016/05/the-honourable-leader-of-opposition.html".

Though this step is probably where maximum people lose out because the only thing that can help you get through this is your belief and your belief is something you can lie to the world about but never to yourself. So fair warning all fellow sailors towards the trade winds that the sea will be full of storms. To all the nomads, the oasis will be in the middle of the unforgiving sand land. To all the astronauts, that the celestial heavens lie outside the pull of gravity and to everyone who is trying to move towards a goal, remember that you're two steps away from attaining everything you've ever wanted. It's just you who needs to believe in you.

My Country

There isn't much to my Land
Other than hindi and
women putting on bindis.
Well except maybe that our civilization
is over some 1000 and greater years old.
Its population is diverse
as its geography.
Its culture is richer
than its business class.
Which are still lesser
than its past.
There isn't much to my Land,
other than all stages of history.
Even with all the science,
some parts of it are still a mystery.
It is an enigma, this frigid sub tropic.
Split it in the middle and brothers remain strangers of above and below.
Or even at the sides, mentioned as a strange connect.
People of a group having one thing  common in their select.


This area where the cradle of humanity sadly remains
as a child young but misguided.
Ready to be buried
as aged, idealed but tired.
As someone who is stuck betwixt and between
two polarizing teams.
Which scream of glory to their
and only their cause.
Or the other who cry at all the Lost cause.
There is something strange in my country
that everyone is alienated
but still cries more home
than any other of the dirt and leaf
anywhere around.


There is still some hope
for people dream.
There is struggle
for everyone has something
to make it worth it.
My country is strange,
My country is different.
So you'd probably understand if I tell you,
There isn't much to my Land
that you'd probably understand.
There is just so much this land holds,
love, hope, dreams and happiness
not just sorrow and loss.
It's like most others
this breath of warmth,
this wave of chill.
It's my home, my world.
I can roam everywhere see the wonders
to gape with awe and be amazed,
but it's only here near my horizon and
between the poles,
that finally my heart, will feel both frozen and burned.

The Morning Moon

In the cradle of the morning,
watching the bawling Sun.
The Night's reflector, sets out
to meet another sink
and another different kind of dawn.

The Night was long,
dark and rested.
Illuminated by the sole fighter,
with an arsenal not its own.
Aided by comrades of distant lands,
that would turn up too late,
even if they had a chance.

There were struggles and times of doubt,
for the fighter so brave.
Basking in glory and casting a shadow,
the Champion of a losing battle.
There was but him and a time of darkness.
There was but him and a fear of the unknown.
There wasn't much a choice he had.

His Nadir and Zenith were met with silence.
Not the jubilant shouts of his Wards.
His joys were the continued humming and hum drum lives
that continued below unnoticed and indifferent.
His joy and sorrow were lost among the clouds.

He battled on,
as the doubts faded ahead and behind.
There was no beginning or end to it all
even remotely in his sight.
Yet he marched on,
defender of those who lay
unhindered by the progressions around.
Unaware of the epic war being waged around.

Then in his final act
of loyalty and defiance.
For the sake of new time of a new fighter and
new world.
He faded into the light,
unnoticed by those who finally awoke.
He left with his glance at those he saved,
he left with a strangely monolithic memory he made,
he left with his life unnoticed and unheard.
He left to wage a war, in a different part of the World.

The Honourable Leader Of The Opposition

 "A house divided against itself cannot stand."
-Abraham Lincoln


The former President and exemplary leader used these words to describe the house while addressing the issue of slavery. He goes on to state how this meant not that the house was to collapse, but that it would cease to be divided.

The lines which he used had a huge implication on the future of his country, his world and countless lives now lost to time and those yet to exist.I think somewhere down the lines, he had great wisdom here which probably would be applicable to all of us. It is essentially the struggle in most people till they finally choose themselves. 

We live in times of great options, in times of freedom. What this entails is that more options translates to better choices for people right? Not really, not always. For most of us who are trying to find our way, or how to proceed this gives the increasingly delicious but onerous choice of being a one hit wonder. Why?

Simply, because we have set that expectation for ourselves. We have taken choices to mean not that there is freedom, but that failure should be restricted which could not be further from the truth.We all have the right to succeed and do the thing we love but to expect that you won't have to iterate to get there is delusional. Some people fail to realise that those who do achieve a lot at a young age, simply iterated earlier. We all have the same avenues to go into. It is a matter of choice when you decide to stroll those unfamiliar streets.

Now coming to ourselves. They say matter and antimatter share the role of being each others "annihilators". That if you were to shake hands with your corresponding anti-matter twin,there would be a release of pure energy, and both of you would cease to exist.

(No, Republicans, anti-matter does not need "freedom")

I think those battles are always inside of us. When giving a speech or a debate there are several times when the Speaker realises, the holes in his/her argument, What they fear is someone picking up on it and questioning them relentlessly on it. Now imagine that only for every single thing you have ever done. That is kind of what happens inside you. Moreover that anti being inside you isn't capable of giving the right answers either and is far from being a rational being. Hence the questions posed to you might not be relevant but their function are just to stop you.

Ladies, and gentlemen, that is the most important house divided. That is your biggest battle and like most battles there emerges a winner and loser but at a cost. Often a huge cost. However like stated earlier in this article it doesn't have to mean that you will fall, rather that you will cease to be divided. You will be able to silence that opposition inside you, that the paralysis will cease to hinder you. You'll realise your path may not be perfect but is probably the most sensible one. Not to say it WILL be the right one, but it will appear as the most sensible one for you. It'll be the one which might not seem the easiest but will seem to be the one most aligned with your own values and objectives. It might be the toughest road you travelled (even tougher compared to the one time you had to save that slice of cake for your brother) but will be more rewarding and satisfying than any experience (even compared to the one time you ate that last slice of cake).
It is about having faith in yourself to succeed and not the absence of fear or opposition but to act on despite their presence making best of the information at hand because that is all you can do.
(Side note: it is insane the amount of things you cannot do. Like you cannot fold a paper more than 7 times across among many others)


So instead of being cowered down by opposition you need to do something, because like that Speaker on that stage, you're the one there to make a difference and get something done. You're the voice to encourage yourself to move down that unfamiliar road or sail into uncharted waters. Yes you will face opposition  but change has  a tendency to be opposed. In fact even when you're still you're facing constant opposition in the form of static friction. So why not take the battle to  a situation where you are doing something.

Courtesy :http://deutsch.physics.ucsc.edu/

If I were to further take that example of static friction, you'll notice how greater the force you apply for movement the tougher the opposition you'll face but after a threshold, it gets easier. They rightly say physics holds the answers to a lot of mysteries because what could be a simpler analogy. Not that it makes it any easier but it is a truth we have to embrace. Once you start the motion it will become easier to be in that groove and definitely more productive than just being still and not moving.

So it is probably best, to take that sky-diving class, start that start-up, take that year break for life assessment, because nothing will beat that sense of achievement you'll feel once you emerge on the other side, a winner, a champion. Having bested your fears and emerged the leader to help a divided,warring nation emerge as a superpower in its own right.
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(Don't you just love the way that metaphor ties up?)

Pre-Cognition

First of all let me be up front. All the individuals who came here for a discourse on the extra sensory probably should just go to a different link because  I will not be talking about them at all (however how have you landed here if you actually knew what would happen?). Chuck it everyone's welcome to give their two cents here.
Anyway, I am tackling this word here a little more literally. When broken down, it would mean before knowledge. Why is this scarier than the monster under your bed? (No I do not mean your sibling). Why is it almost as bad as a Trump Presidency (wait for the irony)? Simply because, you do not know it yet (though there are a different other set of reasons why you shouldn't hire a guy for the job who might tell your senators, "You're fired"). In the Sherlock Holmes, series the titular character once remarks how he does not form any notions before he reaches the crime scenes as that poisons him to have a biased view. How very apt. Though this isn't just relevant for the above mentioned high functioning sociopath, or Sherlock Holmes.

Even in the work place rumours tend to precede praise and ignite suspicions. Essentially they can end your opinion on a person before you even meet them. Not to even consider the amount of friendships you can lose out on, but think about how having this kind of a mind frame portrays you as someone who is swayed more by a mystical whisper of the winds rather than any actual concrete proof. Not a good quality in a teammate or in someone who might be entrusted to lead.Being relatively new to life and new born to maturity I have seen only the tip of the iceberg but of what I've seen, that tip has substantiated my views, that having a kind of image in your head about a person kind of makes you fit them in a kind of mould, limiting the ways in which you can perceive them which can be especially disastrous for  a leader or someone who is entrusted to look after a group of people.

Often people will end up seeing what they expect to see, and this isn't just a random claim it has actually been proven in psychology. Many might have heard of it as a confirmation bias. A situation where in people use mediums to define the end conclusion (all the science students in the house say Heeeyy!). It might be astounding but it is true. It will manifest itself extreme subtlety and before you know it the guy who took the company umbrella from the umbrella stand before you is half the reason why Global Warming and ecological balance is a problem today (Of course it isn't am I right? Climate change is so fake. Like intelligent dolphins. They'd have probably taken control if they were).

What I wish to emphasize here is how stereotyping for one should clearly warn us to the danger of such an activity as it is nothing but an extreme version of this. Instead of an individual if you attack a community. We need to realise that like many things in life we aren't in a position to understand the mystery, art and piece of work that are human beings, and so to resort to the crudest means of information gathering (including but not limited to gossip, taking of your headphones, coffee run, water-cooler talks, etc) are bound to probably fill your head with ideas about a person that may have undergone twisting to an extent that they now resemble more of a dance form than the truth. Which is a very scary thing indeed come to think of it. It can cause you to paralyze yourself when speaking to others simply because you're scarred of what about yourself has preceded you and you're unsure how to tackle it. This is the problem affecting you close home now. About how even before any of your actions or plans have materialized you are condemned to a certain role and set from which nothing but the most drastic changes might set you free which could have been avoided had those lovely gentlemen/ladies could've discussed the news for about two minutes longer. That is probably the key takeaway here. When confronted with a situation where in you're being bombarded by information about someone or something that you haven't interacted with, it's a better idea to prepare the 2 minute lead because you sure as hell won't be fit to lead having  gained poison about something yet to be or yet to be led.
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( I predicted you'd read this)

Coffee With Cream

I would have wanted to title this Tea with milk, out of my personal preference of the beverage but for some reason the almost alliteration and quick phonetic flow was too seducing to give up.
Anyway, before we proceed a simple question, do you like your coffee strong and black or smothered in cream, or for teetotalers, would you rather have that saintly beverage mixing the breath of nature and supplement of cattle. Or the bitter reality that we all have come to know?

If you do have your favourite cuppa in hand for a neither pointless nor insightful piece of work. Pun intended. A recent thought which has been bugging me was of absolutes. As someone who often wished to see the world in black and white to simplify things. As someone who wanted things to be a little less messy and let one man's hero be that for everyone finally has had to realise nothing will ever be so. What is ever so hilarious is that what we consider to be absolute stands might in a few years time be fuzzy midways themselves. World history has shown enough in this regard.
We all seem perpetually stuck on this spectrum that is expanding either side. While we may not want to be physically at either end we look to them to know our reference but slowly it seems we just lose sight. It  isn't as much of stretching of the sides as it is the expansion of the centre.  What is a balance today becomes  slightly polarized tomorrow and slowly keeps increasing.


I mean a few years ago I wanted to debate this with someone, that actions, if seen independently without context can be classified as black or white, but when you analyze them with things like purpose, they become shades of grey. My point was shouldn't we see actions as that? Purely by themselves. Though now I realise that my thinking was extremely immature, because seeing an action without purpose is like having a fire purely out of its existence. It does not make sense. An action is an agent of change. A change is precipitated by a reason and unless you see the reason you cannot understand the change. Of course things brings us back to the land of fuzz rather than discrete.

I don't have a whole lot to say on this topic because I feel I am not in the best place (in maturity) to analyze this, but I find the lack of a common defining standard or yardstick disturbing. I mean if  I were to look at measurements, without a standard it becomes a confusing mesh of random events and for some  reason if we have reached as a species a position where our actions have yardstick but existence and purpose  itself a enigma what have we really been doing all these years? \

Update:  I think this is a a discussion which might be one on which I have maintained a rather mistaken point of view. For one, I believe the most appealing thing about absolutes are the clarity and ease of functionality they promise. Of curse that would imply a set of actions to follow. On contrary I believe they are in opposition to the very essence of life. Any development we make, any progress we make has to be done as way of tackling am issue differently. Which can be done only if you think differently. Probably the day the world starts dealing in absolutes will be one where we as a civilization will just cease to grow. Probably not the best thing you know.

Touch Up

Hello again. Day 3. Trying for a trifecta here. I generally don't write very often. Definitely not as often as I'd like but a series of coincidences has kind of worked for me. Inspiring me enough to write.

While exercising today (that is a way of saying peeking in to the abyss of all those where goodies are consumed and being haunted by spirits of junk food past) I caught an extremely intriguing line on TV which really caught my attention. I actually for a brief moment assumed it was the onset of a stroke because what possible ad-man could actually be okay with the line. It was slipped in an almost shameful manner as if neither the actor nor the writer thought it was the best line to put. Then again we aren't the genius strategists who know what the people want right? We're just people. Talk about Level 7 susceptibles (sic). *A billion points to you if you get that reference*

Anyway, so this beauty cream actually said that "Smiles cause wrinkles hence you should use this cream.". First of all not to argue with the fact that the biology must be sound, but honestly is that supposed to be the best argument to pursue ? Blaming one of the most positive emotions and then selling your cream? Almost to the extent of making people buy it because they smile? It just sounded like a sick game of association. I mean what will they get next? But a hair oil because you get a hair cut. Buy some after-life lotion so that you may be moisturized in Hell/Heaven. I mean we're in a world where daily media loves to propagate bad news over actual good, to drive a consumerist culture fine, but now you have products attacking the very essence of humans?

I am most probably over reacting, I get it but there is too much at stake here. It always starts like this. Like some kind of ironic joke which the more you hear starts seeming less ludicrous. Be it your friends asking you to teach them Defense Against the Dark Arts, or people believing that a wall will help solve foreign relation issues. The world starts with "It is crazy, it cannot be true", goes to a "It cannot be true" and ultimately stops at "True.".  A monosyllabic ending for a monolithic ending.
I mean even if smiles cause wrinkles is that really that bad a thing? In some twisted way is it okay to have side effects from using certain products, but be alarmed at the reaction someone might give when hearing about "now your fairness will increase by three scales".

Cosmetics are not entirely pointless. They are often a huge confidence booster for certain groups regardless of gender but you know you have an issue when they start permeating that layer they maintain. I mean alright keep it as a shield why start pointing the guns inwards?
One does not need to go into the explanation of being a naturalist and stating its importance. We all know about the wonders of smiles and have too often now heard someone crack the "smile-mile" joke in its many variants, so why would we want anyone to take that away from us? What kind of a plastic world would we live in where utilizing facial muscles is frowned upon.....or not. What will you achieve by being perfectly wrinkle free. It's not like the afterlife has a deal where you give them a face that looks unused then they'll give you another one to try. The one which you get is the one with which you live (except unexpected circumstances). Why try to preserve it at the cost of  happiness?

Again I am not targeting a brand or the cosmetics industry. I mean to tackle this kind of thought which has started permeating in the world which thinks that the best way to look is less human, more plastic and why that is okay with people. People advocate all kinds of crap and the saddest part it those who do themselves are aware of their bullshit but as long as someone buys their yarn all they'll hear is $ka-ching$.

Honestly, please do not think there is anything wrong with expressing yourself but to actively coax yourself to be regretful of it is shameful. It isn't just a irresponsible media but a horrible message as well. Please do never curtail those 32 (unless it is inappropriate). Most of all remember if you feel burdened by all the pseudo-helpful messages and do think that it is actually affecting you way more than it should, probably the only "make up" you need is for your mood. Nothing else.

Cheers!