Hope and Wait

"Victory comes to those who believe in it, the strongest and the longest"
-Probably someone who had his confidence on steroids
(Just kidding, I paraphrase Lt. Col Doolittle)


Of the many flaws I have being a pessimistic optimist is probably the lesser of them. However, I am pretty sure it's not just an individual streak. Quite frankly, being a pessimistic optimist, ("poptimist" if you will) is what helps you be normal as compared to a either a sugar high toddler or what you get after the toddler crashes from the sugar high. It is also something which tends to colour opinions  grey. Just one shade of it.However a person runs a risk in this kind of a situation. A risk much bigger than the captain of a bowling team deciding to give a spinner the last over to bowl. That is, they might lose the will to win.

 The fact is, in no situation can you win without first agreeing that you really want it, second believing you can get it, and third actually doing something to get it. There is attrition in almost every step which only keeps increasing as you go to every successive step. Yes, this is maths working as Hydra.  So if someone already believes that a cause is the opportunity equivalent of a mosquito (worthless), you can be pretty sure that it won't be tough to swat them out of the sky. Or off your face for that matter.  So this battle is something, which you don't even come close to winning, because instead of even preparing or trying out of the waters, you've just looked out of your window and said "The sun's too bright for surfing." or "The pizza is too cheesy for my liking". Those kind of words should not be used because whatever might be the hindrance, what it really is hiding, is a chance for you to discover a part of yourself that will face a challenge in an entirely new fashion that can surprise you!

In professions like the military, research,entrepreneurship  hitting a roadblock is almost as regular as not liking the cafeteria food, but those professionals who really believe in their calling and who really want to sustain and grow keep striving on. In the National Defence Academy in Pune, there is a line scratched into a desk (at least that's what I've heard. Quote attributed to Winston Churchill). It says: "Going through hell, keep going". Probably the best thing to refresh a person to continue on in any battle they rage is to wage it on and not take one step back (no I am not trying to go all Stalin here).


(Credits:Pintrest)

SO even if you are a "poptimist" it is not an excuse to excuse your self of aspiring to win.
Everything in life is going to put obstacles and obstructions in front to of you, no matter how  prepared, confident, etc you are. Everyone will face the same opposition that you do when doing what you are and some might have it even worse. So if you feel crippled and unable to move ahead you need to realise that the best way to get through a storm (if you must) is probably through it, for no ship that stayed in its harbour ever realised what it was meant to do.

On a trip to Manali, my father and I thought we'd try our hand at para gliding. Now this was in a very controlled environment, but it doesn't help when you're at the top a peak in a mountainous region and see that what really the activity is a slow plummet. Now I don't have a fear of heights. No one does I think. It's a fear of falling probably, but anyway, I remember standing on that patch of flat land and the instructor told me to just run straight. Now when I started running I felt a tug and thought that my guide wasn't harnessed properly so I kind of slowed down. Turns out that was the wind, but what that stop did was it changed my direction so my 5-6 meter run up now became a 3 meter run up. I remember thinking how this game of chicken could probably cost me a lot, but I jumped. The first ten seconds of that jump were magical. Not because of the plunge, or just because of the silence, but because it was that time when I felt I had run against an opposition (gravity and my fear) to do something and was actively aware of it. Agreed this was in an extremely controlled environment but what it gave me was the confidence, that no matter what maybe the force pulling you down or the thing holding you back. What you have to do is just keep running and know when to take the jump.

It is what helped me in subsequent situations like, my first diving board, my first (can't say last) 12 feet jump to 8 feet (which I missed and kind of tackled the platform) before I went to 2 feet (my own that is. It was a spectacularly unremarkable fall. Good times.), leaving home, job interviews, creative pursuits, etc.

So this is kind of like the second part to the "Win" Trilogy. I've covered the one on inspiring yourself to make the change in "http://thepisceanwindow.blogspot.in/2016/05/the-honourable-leader-of-opposition.html".

Though this step is probably where maximum people lose out because the only thing that can help you get through this is your belief and your belief is something you can lie to the world about but never to yourself. So fair warning all fellow sailors towards the trade winds that the sea will be full of storms. To all the nomads, the oasis will be in the middle of the unforgiving sand land. To all the astronauts, that the celestial heavens lie outside the pull of gravity and to everyone who is trying to move towards a goal, remember that you're two steps away from attaining everything you've ever wanted. It's just you who needs to believe in you.

My Country

There isn't much to my Land
Other than hindi and
women putting on bindis.
Well except maybe that our civilization
is over some 1000 and greater years old.
Its population is diverse
as its geography.
Its culture is richer
than its business class.
Which are still lesser
than its past.
There isn't much to my Land,
other than all stages of history.
Even with all the science,
some parts of it are still a mystery.
It is an enigma, this frigid sub tropic.
Split it in the middle and brothers remain strangers of above and below.
Or even at the sides, mentioned as a strange connect.
People of a group having one thing  common in their select.


This area where the cradle of humanity sadly remains
as a child young but misguided.
Ready to be buried
as aged, idealed but tired.
As someone who is stuck betwixt and between
two polarizing teams.
Which scream of glory to their
and only their cause.
Or the other who cry at all the Lost cause.
There is something strange in my country
that everyone is alienated
but still cries more home
than any other of the dirt and leaf
anywhere around.


There is still some hope
for people dream.
There is struggle
for everyone has something
to make it worth it.
My country is strange,
My country is different.
So you'd probably understand if I tell you,
There isn't much to my Land
that you'd probably understand.
There is just so much this land holds,
love, hope, dreams and happiness
not just sorrow and loss.
It's like most others
this breath of warmth,
this wave of chill.
It's my home, my world.
I can roam everywhere see the wonders
to gape with awe and be amazed,
but it's only here near my horizon and
between the poles,
that finally my heart, will feel both frozen and burned.

The Morning Moon

In the cradle of the morning,
watching the bawling Sun.
The Night's reflector, sets out
to meet another sink
and another different kind of dawn.

The Night was long,
dark and rested.
Illuminated by the sole fighter,
with an arsenal not its own.
Aided by comrades of distant lands,
that would turn up too late,
even if they had a chance.

There were struggles and times of doubt,
for the fighter so brave.
Basking in glory and casting a shadow,
the Champion of a losing battle.
There was but him and a time of darkness.
There was but him and a fear of the unknown.
There wasn't much a choice he had.

His Nadir and Zenith were met with silence.
Not the jubilant shouts of his Wards.
His joys were the continued humming and hum drum lives
that continued below unnoticed and indifferent.
His joy and sorrow were lost among the clouds.

He battled on,
as the doubts faded ahead and behind.
There was no beginning or end to it all
even remotely in his sight.
Yet he marched on,
defender of those who lay
unhindered by the progressions around.
Unaware of the epic war being waged around.

Then in his final act
of loyalty and defiance.
For the sake of new time of a new fighter and
new world.
He faded into the light,
unnoticed by those who finally awoke.
He left with his glance at those he saved,
he left with a strangely monolithic memory he made,
he left with his life unnoticed and unheard.
He left to wage a war, in a different part of the World.

The Honourable Leader Of The Opposition

 "A house divided against itself cannot stand."
-Abraham Lincoln


The former President and exemplary leader used these words to describe the house while addressing the issue of slavery. He goes on to state how this meant not that the house was to collapse, but that it would cease to be divided.

The lines which he used had a huge implication on the future of his country, his world and countless lives now lost to time and those yet to exist.I think somewhere down the lines, he had great wisdom here which probably would be applicable to all of us. It is essentially the struggle in most people till they finally choose themselves. 

We live in times of great options, in times of freedom. What this entails is that more options translates to better choices for people right? Not really, not always. For most of us who are trying to find our way, or how to proceed this gives the increasingly delicious but onerous choice of being a one hit wonder. Why?

Simply, because we have set that expectation for ourselves. We have taken choices to mean not that there is freedom, but that failure should be restricted which could not be further from the truth.We all have the right to succeed and do the thing we love but to expect that you won't have to iterate to get there is delusional. Some people fail to realise that those who do achieve a lot at a young age, simply iterated earlier. We all have the same avenues to go into. It is a matter of choice when you decide to stroll those unfamiliar streets.

Now coming to ourselves. They say matter and antimatter share the role of being each others "annihilators". That if you were to shake hands with your corresponding anti-matter twin,there would be a release of pure energy, and both of you would cease to exist.

(No, Republicans, anti-matter does not need "freedom")

I think those battles are always inside of us. When giving a speech or a debate there are several times when the Speaker realises, the holes in his/her argument, What they fear is someone picking up on it and questioning them relentlessly on it. Now imagine that only for every single thing you have ever done. That is kind of what happens inside you. Moreover that anti being inside you isn't capable of giving the right answers either and is far from being a rational being. Hence the questions posed to you might not be relevant but their function are just to stop you.

Ladies, and gentlemen, that is the most important house divided. That is your biggest battle and like most battles there emerges a winner and loser but at a cost. Often a huge cost. However like stated earlier in this article it doesn't have to mean that you will fall, rather that you will cease to be divided. You will be able to silence that opposition inside you, that the paralysis will cease to hinder you. You'll realise your path may not be perfect but is probably the most sensible one. Not to say it WILL be the right one, but it will appear as the most sensible one for you. It'll be the one which might not seem the easiest but will seem to be the one most aligned with your own values and objectives. It might be the toughest road you travelled (even tougher compared to the one time you had to save that slice of cake for your brother) but will be more rewarding and satisfying than any experience (even compared to the one time you ate that last slice of cake).
It is about having faith in yourself to succeed and not the absence of fear or opposition but to act on despite their presence making best of the information at hand because that is all you can do.
(Side note: it is insane the amount of things you cannot do. Like you cannot fold a paper more than 7 times across among many others)


So instead of being cowered down by opposition you need to do something, because like that Speaker on that stage, you're the one there to make a difference and get something done. You're the voice to encourage yourself to move down that unfamiliar road or sail into uncharted waters. Yes you will face opposition  but change has  a tendency to be opposed. In fact even when you're still you're facing constant opposition in the form of static friction. So why not take the battle to  a situation where you are doing something.

Courtesy :http://deutsch.physics.ucsc.edu/

If I were to further take that example of static friction, you'll notice how greater the force you apply for movement the tougher the opposition you'll face but after a threshold, it gets easier. They rightly say physics holds the answers to a lot of mysteries because what could be a simpler analogy. Not that it makes it any easier but it is a truth we have to embrace. Once you start the motion it will become easier to be in that groove and definitely more productive than just being still and not moving.

So it is probably best, to take that sky-diving class, start that start-up, take that year break for life assessment, because nothing will beat that sense of achievement you'll feel once you emerge on the other side, a winner, a champion. Having bested your fears and emerged the leader to help a divided,warring nation emerge as a superpower in its own right.
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(Don't you just love the way that metaphor ties up?)

Pre-Cognition

First of all let me be up front. All the individuals who came here for a discourse on the extra sensory probably should just go to a different link because  I will not be talking about them at all (however how have you landed here if you actually knew what would happen?). Chuck it everyone's welcome to give their two cents here.
Anyway, I am tackling this word here a little more literally. When broken down, it would mean before knowledge. Why is this scarier than the monster under your bed? (No I do not mean your sibling). Why is it almost as bad as a Trump Presidency (wait for the irony)? Simply because, you do not know it yet (though there are a different other set of reasons why you shouldn't hire a guy for the job who might tell your senators, "You're fired"). In the Sherlock Holmes, series the titular character once remarks how he does not form any notions before he reaches the crime scenes as that poisons him to have a biased view. How very apt. Though this isn't just relevant for the above mentioned high functioning sociopath, or Sherlock Holmes.

Even in the work place rumours tend to precede praise and ignite suspicions. Essentially they can end your opinion on a person before you even meet them. Not to even consider the amount of friendships you can lose out on, but think about how having this kind of a mind frame portrays you as someone who is swayed more by a mystical whisper of the winds rather than any actual concrete proof. Not a good quality in a teammate or in someone who might be entrusted to lead.Being relatively new to life and new born to maturity I have seen only the tip of the iceberg but of what I've seen, that tip has substantiated my views, that having a kind of image in your head about a person kind of makes you fit them in a kind of mould, limiting the ways in which you can perceive them which can be especially disastrous for  a leader or someone who is entrusted to look after a group of people.

Often people will end up seeing what they expect to see, and this isn't just a random claim it has actually been proven in psychology. Many might have heard of it as a confirmation bias. A situation where in people use mediums to define the end conclusion (all the science students in the house say Heeeyy!). It might be astounding but it is true. It will manifest itself extreme subtlety and before you know it the guy who took the company umbrella from the umbrella stand before you is half the reason why Global Warming and ecological balance is a problem today (Of course it isn't am I right? Climate change is so fake. Like intelligent dolphins. They'd have probably taken control if they were).

What I wish to emphasize here is how stereotyping for one should clearly warn us to the danger of such an activity as it is nothing but an extreme version of this. Instead of an individual if you attack a community. We need to realise that like many things in life we aren't in a position to understand the mystery, art and piece of work that are human beings, and so to resort to the crudest means of information gathering (including but not limited to gossip, taking of your headphones, coffee run, water-cooler talks, etc) are bound to probably fill your head with ideas about a person that may have undergone twisting to an extent that they now resemble more of a dance form than the truth. Which is a very scary thing indeed come to think of it. It can cause you to paralyze yourself when speaking to others simply because you're scarred of what about yourself has preceded you and you're unsure how to tackle it. This is the problem affecting you close home now. About how even before any of your actions or plans have materialized you are condemned to a certain role and set from which nothing but the most drastic changes might set you free which could have been avoided had those lovely gentlemen/ladies could've discussed the news for about two minutes longer. That is probably the key takeaway here. When confronted with a situation where in you're being bombarded by information about someone or something that you haven't interacted with, it's a better idea to prepare the 2 minute lead because you sure as hell won't be fit to lead having  gained poison about something yet to be or yet to be led.
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( I predicted you'd read this)

Coffee With Cream

I would have wanted to title this Tea with milk, out of my personal preference of the beverage but for some reason the almost alliteration and quick phonetic flow was too seducing to give up.
Anyway, before we proceed a simple question, do you like your coffee strong and black or smothered in cream, or for teetotalers, would you rather have that saintly beverage mixing the breath of nature and supplement of cattle. Or the bitter reality that we all have come to know?

If you do have your favourite cuppa in hand for a neither pointless nor insightful piece of work. Pun intended. A recent thought which has been bugging me was of absolutes. As someone who often wished to see the world in black and white to simplify things. As someone who wanted things to be a little less messy and let one man's hero be that for everyone finally has had to realise nothing will ever be so. What is ever so hilarious is that what we consider to be absolute stands might in a few years time be fuzzy midways themselves. World history has shown enough in this regard.
We all seem perpetually stuck on this spectrum that is expanding either side. While we may not want to be physically at either end we look to them to know our reference but slowly it seems we just lose sight. It  isn't as much of stretching of the sides as it is the expansion of the centre.  What is a balance today becomes  slightly polarized tomorrow and slowly keeps increasing.


I mean a few years ago I wanted to debate this with someone, that actions, if seen independently without context can be classified as black or white, but when you analyze them with things like purpose, they become shades of grey. My point was shouldn't we see actions as that? Purely by themselves. Though now I realise that my thinking was extremely immature, because seeing an action without purpose is like having a fire purely out of its existence. It does not make sense. An action is an agent of change. A change is precipitated by a reason and unless you see the reason you cannot understand the change. Of course things brings us back to the land of fuzz rather than discrete.

I don't have a whole lot to say on this topic because I feel I am not in the best place (in maturity) to analyze this, but I find the lack of a common defining standard or yardstick disturbing. I mean if  I were to look at measurements, without a standard it becomes a confusing mesh of random events and for some  reason if we have reached as a species a position where our actions have yardstick but existence and purpose  itself a enigma what have we really been doing all these years? \

Update:  I think this is a a discussion which might be one on which I have maintained a rather mistaken point of view. For one, I believe the most appealing thing about absolutes are the clarity and ease of functionality they promise. Of curse that would imply a set of actions to follow. On contrary I believe they are in opposition to the very essence of life. Any development we make, any progress we make has to be done as way of tackling am issue differently. Which can be done only if you think differently. Probably the day the world starts dealing in absolutes will be one where we as a civilization will just cease to grow. Probably not the best thing you know.

Touch Up

Hello again. Day 3. Trying for a trifecta here. I generally don't write very often. Definitely not as often as I'd like but a series of coincidences has kind of worked for me. Inspiring me enough to write.

While exercising today (that is a way of saying peeking in to the abyss of all those where goodies are consumed and being haunted by spirits of junk food past) I caught an extremely intriguing line on TV which really caught my attention. I actually for a brief moment assumed it was the onset of a stroke because what possible ad-man could actually be okay with the line. It was slipped in an almost shameful manner as if neither the actor nor the writer thought it was the best line to put. Then again we aren't the genius strategists who know what the people want right? We're just people. Talk about Level 7 susceptibles (sic). *A billion points to you if you get that reference*

Anyway, so this beauty cream actually said that "Smiles cause wrinkles hence you should use this cream.". First of all not to argue with the fact that the biology must be sound, but honestly is that supposed to be the best argument to pursue ? Blaming one of the most positive emotions and then selling your cream? Almost to the extent of making people buy it because they smile? It just sounded like a sick game of association. I mean what will they get next? But a hair oil because you get a hair cut. Buy some after-life lotion so that you may be moisturized in Hell/Heaven. I mean we're in a world where daily media loves to propagate bad news over actual good, to drive a consumerist culture fine, but now you have products attacking the very essence of humans?

I am most probably over reacting, I get it but there is too much at stake here. It always starts like this. Like some kind of ironic joke which the more you hear starts seeming less ludicrous. Be it your friends asking you to teach them Defense Against the Dark Arts, or people believing that a wall will help solve foreign relation issues. The world starts with "It is crazy, it cannot be true", goes to a "It cannot be true" and ultimately stops at "True.".  A monosyllabic ending for a monolithic ending.
I mean even if smiles cause wrinkles is that really that bad a thing? In some twisted way is it okay to have side effects from using certain products, but be alarmed at the reaction someone might give when hearing about "now your fairness will increase by three scales".

Cosmetics are not entirely pointless. They are often a huge confidence booster for certain groups regardless of gender but you know you have an issue when they start permeating that layer they maintain. I mean alright keep it as a shield why start pointing the guns inwards?
One does not need to go into the explanation of being a naturalist and stating its importance. We all know about the wonders of smiles and have too often now heard someone crack the "smile-mile" joke in its many variants, so why would we want anyone to take that away from us? What kind of a plastic world would we live in where utilizing facial muscles is frowned upon.....or not. What will you achieve by being perfectly wrinkle free. It's not like the afterlife has a deal where you give them a face that looks unused then they'll give you another one to try. The one which you get is the one with which you live (except unexpected circumstances). Why try to preserve it at the cost of  happiness?

Again I am not targeting a brand or the cosmetics industry. I mean to tackle this kind of thought which has started permeating in the world which thinks that the best way to look is less human, more plastic and why that is okay with people. People advocate all kinds of crap and the saddest part it those who do themselves are aware of their bullshit but as long as someone buys their yarn all they'll hear is $ka-ching$.

Honestly, please do not think there is anything wrong with expressing yourself but to actively coax yourself to be regretful of it is shameful. It isn't just a irresponsible media but a horrible message as well. Please do never curtail those 32 (unless it is inappropriate). Most of all remember if you feel burdened by all the pseudo-helpful messages and do think that it is actually affecting you way more than it should, probably the only "make up" you need is for your mood. Nothing else.

Cheers!