Honest Facebook-ing.

Yes. I must not, but I know I will. What can I say? I am a creature of habit. I let the lights be off, I slowly get off my bed and move towards the laptop. The dimmed light shines on my face and shows the darkness. I logon and open the window. Then I type in the search and before you know it I am halfway down the road I took an oath to avoid. Facebook is probably the biggest blackhole out there.

But hey. It’s just for this once, it isn’t like I’m hooked to it or anything. Right? Right? Like if you agree with me. Oh no sorry.

So I click on the tab that says my name. Because at my age having an identity crisis is probably the most trustworthy thing I know of. Of course subconsciously I probably expect this to tell me everything about myself. About how I can live my life and more importantly how I should. I expect it to show me all those who consider me important in an effort to highlight that my existence is validated by the approval of others. I write a clever status, poking fun at an advertisement of some political matter because this is the age where I can be brushed aside as an immature cynic by the middle aged and as a middle aged individual by the young toddler “13 year olds”. Why either figure on my friend list is probably a matter of discussion for another full moon night.

But wait, this isn’t helping. I get it I am funny and witty but that isn’t satisfying the gnawing feeling I am having inside. Like when you’re at a buffet and you don’t have sweet for dessert. This doesn’t feel right. Oh thank the lord and saviour MZ for giving me the option to explore my home screen. Probably seeing others lives will help me feel better about my own insecurities. Because obviously everyone portrays their lives as they actually are. Not like from one high to another. Right? Right? Share if you ag….oh shoot I did it again.

Oh look, my college friend is doing a cross country road trip across another continent. Ha. This is the same guy who failed to get the seat in the metro which anyone playing varsity (in the metro Olympics) should have won. Ha. Yeah, I bet he really regrets that now. Moving on. 

Oh hey cool, a school friend got a new job. No kidding, I thought this guy was hibernating. Haven’t heard from him for ages. Wait, why has my other school friend got married? Wait, has she got married to my other school friend? Are you serious?

I'll just leave this here, shall I?

                                              

Oh okay, here’s my first favourite hipster page. Hahahaha, would you look at that. They captured my pain of existence and nicely coated it with pseudo humour to make it look like existentialism isn’t a crippling condition and in the words of some coach somewhere can be just laughed off. I wonder if that’s just a polite way to accept that trying to solve your problems means an entirely different verb followed by off from the Universe.

 Oh hey, this friend is finally writing. I am so glad. In fact I remember this one moment when we both had discussed about pursuing writing and had similar reservations about it. I guess if she has picked it up now, I might soon too right? Right? Tag a friend who….oh for crying out loud.

Hey is that my arthritic relative? Wow it really shows in this dance that they are doing. I mean arthritis is probably the kindest explanation I can give for whatever they are doing in that baraat.

Oh hey, my colleague from my previous firm is going on assignment to some Scandinavian country. Yeah I am pretty sure I did not want that. He did. I guess that insulates me from feeling a twinge of regret for not having followed the generic path of success. Thankfully I trust my decisions and rarely question myself. Can you imagine anything to the contrary?

I bet I've probably seen the worst of things now. I mean what could actually  be left?..............
The Overdosing Punctuators. NO!!!!!!!!!!! (SWEET IRONY!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!.....yeah this can go on for a while)

*scrolling on*

Wait, Trump said what? He can’t say that. I mean he can but he really shouldn’t. I mean he has political ambitions right? Doesn’t that mean you have to be careful about what you say? Oh hey, what is this “Go to Pakis..” okay my bad.

Oh hey, its already 2. I should probably head to bed. Oh hey is that the sound of a devil spawn behind me that if I turn around will take away my soul? I mean I don’t really need sleep right?  Let’s explore the depths of my harddrive. Ooh, generic series I have seen probably a hundred times. I bet I can watch a season before I regret my decisions right? Oh well, won’t know for sure till I try.

Image credits: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

The Art of Performing Art

I happened to go to a show yesterday.  Not like a televised drama, or a movie but specifically a musical show by, if I am to believe it VH 1, India's "Next Biggest thing (2014)". Seeing the fact that it is  2016 I did have my doubts about their rankings. I mean by now he should be a big thing right?

Anyway, pedantic humour aside (yeah, like that's happening) what I took away from the show was a lesson on what differentiates the world into two broad categories, 

a)Performers.

b)Yeah, no just give me a minute.

These shouldn't be considered as categories of people, more like categories of reactions that people give. The kind of attitude people generally keep. The difference between the two? The 2 percent. 

I believe both these attitudes are like competing political parties, or pizza toppings. They have covered about 98% of your pizza.So, what is going to decide whether you can call this a pepperoni pizza with pineapple or a pineapple pizza with pepperoni? (I mean you know other than basic sense of gastronomy)

You. You and your confidence (or lack of thereof) and will to act are the three instincts that are going to push you into one of those groups. It should not be considered that one is worse than the other, but what should be a matter of consideration is what do you stand to gain from both. I have happened to realize that there is always more knowledge to be gained from doing something rather than postponing it (unless it is something like being Wiley Coyote's stunt double) . As I saw yesterday, a fine young man picked up the mic and might have lacked a certain elan, to break it down, or say request Mr Shady to stand up, but he did do a really good job of going out there and performing. He might have just started or might have been a hundred shows down, but more importantly, he picked up the mic and really put his heart and soul into it. He might've not known the words of the song, but he sure knew the song of his spirit and he sang it to his heart's content. 

That is what we all stand to gain if we try to tackle our opportunities and issues as "Performers". If we try to " keep the faith" . We stand to learn, and experience the thrill of performing, the thrill of using our skill, dexterity, and showing what you're made of to your greatest critic. Yourself.  

The 2% that I have mentioned is governed by your confidence and your will. Unless both of them are inline and aiming to really make it you will not be happy with whatever outcome you end up with. Confidence without will is arrogance and will without confidence is acting on fear. You need to control those two stallions. As long as they act opposing to each other you will always be where you are. Instead if you were to harness them and use them to complement each other and drive yourself ahead you have before yourself a chariot for your success.  In probably the wisest and simplest words on this matter, 

"If you say you can, or if you say you can't, you're right either way".

That is the crux of this argument. It is about how determined you are to just put yourself out there and give it a shot. In the long run of space and time, we're barely here for the time span of an Alien commercial advertisement. Why waste that little time and not do what we actually like and want to do?