Foreword

Hello, it's me. I was wondering if you'd like to have a chat over a cup of tea?
Yes I was thinking of going for song, but midway thought of doing a chai-pe-charcha thing which is almost the single most paradox of an activity in India. Also I spent roughly the last 30 words discussing about the first line. That has to tell you something.

So this post is more than 2 years after my cryptic-and-talk-in-poetry phase. It didn't go too well as you may imagine not many people like poetry or cryptic messages. More importantly people don't have the time.So here I am trying to start again. Is this blog going to be redefined? Now that is a subjective thing, because honestly the purpose is just as a method of thought and creative outlet without a website that knows my "Likes".  It still is of course maintained by someone  who is in the most comfortable, stable, defined period of his life. Early 20's of course. It is the time when everything is sorted and settled. For all those unable to follow, it was absolute sarcasm. So this thing might be all over the place.

Right now, I am employed with an IT giant, in Bangalore (aka: Bengaluru, aka: India's Silicon Valley, aka: The Place where traffic can violate laws of time and distance). Hailing from an extremely nomadic life, it is a refreshing change after the last 7 years I spent in Delhi (aka: "Allow me to introduce you to my dad" city). However it is even a bigger change as it marks the first time I have set out. Of course it isn't like one of those hard resets people do when they just pack shop and move out of the city. Then again, it's not like I have offended enough number of people......yet.

It is pretty crazy though. The entire experience of it. I mean right now I am doing something which in a manner of speaking can be quantified. People actually ask you more mature questions and have a hugely different set of expectations. I think the best way to describe it is that it is, different.

A cousin of mine got married this January ( to put it in perspective he was one of the guys who in our youth battled my argument regarding my friends by using the unbeatable logic of  " She is a girl, who is your friend, hence girlfriend " that should probably tell you how back we go). So anyway, here I am at his marriage and meeting these people some of whom for the very first time in my life and I realize how easy it is for us to completely remain oblivious to someone's past and history. I personally believe that anyone who doesn't know about my Power Ranger phase doesn't truly know me. I would say Pokemon phase but that hasn't ended (don't expect it too either. Charizard ftw!).
So what used to be a general introduction where in you would tell someone about your school, friends ,etc being sufficient to narrate your life story, by now you have enough in your life for them to be unable to understand you in a casual setting. It might not be such a big thing, but when I think of it in  perspective regarding all the people I know, it is mind boggling to know that someone who they might never speak to again has a better idea about them than their present friends. Of course it also means I most probably will have an equally wide set of people I need to get to know. We as a species are social, that would imply that knowing each other's story is of relevance. I think we might've forgotten that.

We use social networking sites but I think they are probably the equivalent of judging a book by the cover, or if you will.....Face ( a zillion points to Gryffindor for being so smooth with that). So to anyone out there reading this, try to find people's story. Like most they'll teach you a lot. What you've read here might probably the best way to give a foreword to you for life. I think we should all be told this more often. Everyone is and has a story. Know it to know the true breadth of the world and the creatures in it. Honestly, if you're not doing that you might just actually be wasting your time here and quite frankly wasting a lifetime can be fatal. (I had to and spent 5 minutes thinking how best to phrase it. I have no regrets. Yes the irony about time wasting is clear to me).

Anyway hope to blurt more soon. See you around!
Cheers.

You Jelly?

The green eyes I see shimmer at a distance,
my life in it’s worth begs me to abate,
to give that search a little delay,
maybe chuck the search for a day of more leisure,
or may be a day after I have to meet her.
But the nagging of the shimmer at a distance,
attracts me so
how can I leave it, I wonder so.
I tread, I walk, I run to it

not knowing what lies below its hilt.
The closer I reach the shinier it seems,
is it a window or some nylon, torn at its seams?

and closer I tread more I fall,
into an abyss set halfway ,
this isn’t a walk of curiosity,
this isn’t a walk of inquiry.
It’s uncertain, it’s doomed, it’s foolish,
it’s dumb.
Somebody better wake this blithering idiot,
who has become so numb.
He walks too close, for he is sure to fall.
This man who destroy’s all
his life with this evil wrecking ball.

There Goes The Fear

This is what the light told me,
let the fire light your demons,
let your fear rage in bloom,
bursting from your bosom,
destroying your every boon.

Don’t fight it, it can’t be won.
Don’t regret it, now it’s done
treading through the barren land,
your defenses can hold out only for so long,
you can’t defeat your weakness,
when your Achilles it has found,

Fall before your Death
fall for it has no remorse,
feel it fill your blood’s course,
it’s won, it’s conquered.
While the flag is lowered and bugles blare,
give in to all the despair,
for finally you must face the truth,
this is a battle you had to lose.

Entwined In This Dance Of The Stars

Why don’t we waltz with this music playing, the sound of life? Why don’t we play further the roles we have? Why can’t we continue this costumed existence?
Let the stars of Winter twinkle a little longer, and this night be as mellow as it is now till eternity ends. All I do need is here, as it should be. All that should be here is grossly missing .This fleeting spirit that runs, what if it denies us for a minute the very, minute. Would it do so for a day? Maybe a month? Would it be considerate enough to let all plans unravel at their own speed and not be products of fleeting ideas and ill-executed movements of pseudo logic?
Is it possible in the wisdom of all that is holy and sacred we tend to idolize not absolute change rather the solace or procrastinated hope. Maybe justifying that “Hope is a good breakfast but bad dinner.”?

I strongly believe that change is a neutral entity and is the essence of life itself, we as humans however remain stuck in our roles so strongly and remain tied to them. Even if we may alter our tastes, preferences, company, etc on exposure to our previous surroundings we tend to revert back to our former selves. This may be something some of us cherish however does this also not show failure to adapt and alter perspectives? Maybe consistency is good and one should never forget one’s roots but that doesn’t mean that you keep falling back in familiar patterns.

An amusing thought it is when you realize the conflict we face in a world which tries to alter us, but at the same time tries to fit us in a fixed role. How any sort of movement and change of pattern is always met with opposition. Be it forces like friction or maybe trying to change a government. The Law of Causality is an axiomatic rock that has maybe been the steady witness over time to this phenomenon.  What is funny is that maybe if there was no opposition we could not really call it change? It would be a continued state of existence. What does this rant so blatantly beating around the bush mean?

It means maybe we should hear ourselves for who we are in the present and try to see life in all it's worth in the moment, lying underneath the shimmering stars on this Winter night.

All Grown Up.

This post is way overdue. I have been kind of busy, but more so not in the mood to write. I mean, an engineer who does writing. The one I know of the like is Chetan Bhagat so that's a bummer.
Anyway the last few months have been  a jump. Like a fast forward. Not because of the general perception that time is fleeting, but because they have made me realize, it's time I plan out a future.
To be honest it's weird. I mean I still like racing people on the stairs. I still try to balance the switch between on and off. For some reason I believe that the guy who makes questions marks and stars on his partner's copy might not be the most "consummate professional" (Even if his resume does say otherwise).

It's funny,  in college everything feels the same. In fact there are still aspects that I am still discovering and contrary to all previously formed opinion it isn't as bad a place I thought. I mean they don't serve non-veg and are like Scrooge when it comes to holidays, but still. The people too aren't that bad. In fact some are pretty cool. So I kind of do like my present. The question is when I leave this frontier and go to the beyond. Full of suits, computers, water cooler jokes and people with a bad sense of humour to whom I can't give a sarcastic retort.  How will it be? Classmates from school have nearly got it all figured out and I am on the side going like, yeah, I'll go home and eat Chinese.
Perhaps the funniest instance was when Siddharth, Puneet and I had a conversation about SAE and it's relevance. Trying to sound all responsible. The guys who laugh at the Chowpatty-Charpai joke.
I speak to my juniors and for once I do envy them. Is it a Peter Pan sort of thing? Bah. Couldn't care.

500 Days of Summer is a pretty good movie, especially the last part, when he does become serious about his career and associated clips like those are purely my only solace. I mean let's put it this way, it's not scary, just general apprehension. Can you blame me? A guy with whom I used to (and still do) talk about Pokémon, is contemplating B-Schools and specializations with respect to the job market. Who wouldn't freak out? It's like the night is over and the grown ups have to go work.

I am ready for it. Agreed I don't know how the "Corporate World" functions but you know, when I was a kid I did not know how Middle School -High School works but I made it. It's the same just that the stakes are like the REST of my life. Like a never ending final. Then again, improvisation and determination can overcome quite a bit. So yeah. I am ready to jump. I am ready to go and design/manufacture/sell/buy/fix/play/write. I say all these because the one thing I have learnt is even the kid who convinced his parents he wants to sing does have a lil voice that tells him otherwise. The individual who wants to switch fields needs a little boost to make the switch. So for all the souls looking to do it, this entry I hope convinces you that being slightly tensed is okay, but what you need to remember is the fact that your success has already been decided when you decided it. Now it's all about grit, hard work and other vaguely motivational terms.

We all start with same knowledge as a fresher in any field. It's ultimately all about your perseverance and knowledge. You should know what to take and what to reject. You should know your opportunities and be able to make your setbacks, stages for a comeback. Very few decisions are both important and easy as they say. You can't let fear steal your funk.
Here is hoping that you, me and all of us do become the rockstars/doctors/dictators/engineers/authors (even Chetan Bhagat might) that we aspire to be. Deserving of the credit of our toughest critic, ourselves.

-Yes, the fear-funk was a "How I Met Your Mother" reference.

Cheers!

Peace.Acceptance.Anticipation

A lot is said about change. A lot. Stuff like, it's inevitable, has to happen, is welcome sometimes, you should carry your own, etc.

"They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom."
-Confucius.
 
It is like explaining the relation between the present and the future.
By the time that you realize that you have changed, or your surroundings have, or the people in your life have, it's already too late to do anything about it. Sometimes it is a good thing and the change is helpful, sometimes it's bad and you want to avoid it at all costs. However sometimes, it is a bad thing, but we still want it, because often our present can become a little too overwhelming, for us to continue to think properly, and sometimes, you don't want to keep making the effort to make sense out of nothing. Sometimes you just want life to take control (Auto-pilot, if you will).

But sadly, that is the thing about change. It itself is unbiased. The question only is how you perceive it. It can be your best friend, or your worst enemy, it can also be that guy in your class who   you call only for some administrative thing  or whom you hang around with when you crew is absent. (Ok, to be honest that 3rd option was a little cryptic. Delve into it. The meaning is somewhere.)

It's just that the one needs to make peace with their past, be accepting of their present I guess then only can that person be ready for his/her future. Maybe that is the greatest lesson any of us can learn. To learn about faith, anticipation, bravery and the ability to be at peace.
All we can hope for I guess, is to take the leap, because like it not you will have to jump. It's on you whether you do it at your own accord or are pushed into it.
Always dreaming for the best.
Cheers!

On IPL and "sportsmanship"

A lot is being said about how “fixing”  and determining match high points before hand has spoilt the game. It is quite easy for everyone, be it  an irritatingly loud, argument friendly news anchor or  the bus conductor. They talk about how wrong it is. They talk about how its destroying the country. It really is easy to just side with the tide. However just for the sake of argument I would like to play the Devil’s Advocate.
First of all it’s a game. I repeat, it’s a game. That is it. No it has not compromised security, and no it has not caused destruction of property. I believe that all those who cry about match fixing,  are just a fraction of the present massive uproar. The rest of them just bystanders being swept away by the popular opinion. I believe that this set up is exactly like a business deal. A simple contract. The viewer at any point of time can shut the TV and do something useful with his/her life. It’s like watching a show. You know there will be twists and turns. The IPL is nothing different. Of course some say about how its a sport and talk about things like sportsmanship, but seriously, how many people would actually keep watching the IPL, if it were not for the twists and turns? Our society thrives on drama and underdog upsets.  Why would Reliance continue to invest in the sport if their team keeps losing? Kingfisher has proudly stated its connection to 4-5 major teams. Did no one think there might be a slight conflict of interests over there? If you were fine with the sell out of the sport, why do you cry when you see the math?

The BCCI is an independent body. Sadly “independence” is a term our country has never really appreciated post 1947. Unless of course you include the holiday. The same goes for the institutions.  Everything works on the basis of pressure points. The media always acts as the judiciary. The judiciary  as the rebellious teenage kid of the government and the government like Big Brother.  How does all this figure in? Because deep down, everyone knows this and it sickens them. Hence they turn to sports and movies. Mix the two and you get something glossy like the IPL. So when this “sport” is marred by malpractices,  the frustration is vented on something which is a very small part of the entire picture.

The fact that there is fixing in the IPL should not be forgiven of course. Rather the IPL should be given the same treatment as any soap. It would be the perfect solution. All of us have had a wrestling addiction phase. Some of us see through the pseudo angry athletic display and wise up. The rest carry on anyway. Nothing different about the IPL. It is indeed, Sports Entertainment.